Monday, April 30, 2007

GENRE BREAKFAST


Since Wonderboy is still experiencing some sleeping issues, morning wake up is a bit more of a chore. Answering this challenge to my creative, think ouside the box, motherhood, I have invented a new way to embrace the day with a laugh and a smile.

I call it: GENRE BREAKFAST!!!

It is reminiscent of my days in improv class and we had a hoot with it this morning. I'll elaborate:

A certain type of movie or behavioral genre is chosen. The family then prepares and eats breakfast acting in that genre. For example:

Horror Movie Breakfast:
*SHRIEEEEEEEEK!!!* "Mother, the eggs, the eggs, they stare at me so!!"
"Don't worry son, I'll kill them!!!" ~mother annihilates eggs with fork~ "There son, they won't hurt you scrambled!!"

Or,
Shakespeare Breakfast:
"Forsooth young offspring, the cake of pan awaits"

Or,
Soap Opera Breakfast:
"Mommy I must confess something."
"What, my darling?"
"I've been eating another yogurt" (bites hand in guilt)
"Oh no!" (backhand to forehead in grief, "And I thought this was the only one!!"

Or,
Goth Breakfast (for the teenagers):
Mother: *grunt?*
Son: *grunt, snorfle, ergh*
Mother: *scratch, grunt?*
Son: "Whatever"

Come up with your own and do share!

Saturday, April 28, 2007

THE SHAPE OF HOPE

Bleeding inside,
I turn for help,
with a question.
The answer's no.
I'm only three.
I heal.
Eventually.

Screaming blood,
I beg for help.
The answer's no.
I'm only eight.
This one
won't heal.

The wound reopened,
the teacher asks
for the same help.
The answer's no.
I'm still eight.
I stop bleeding.
eventually.

The wound re-bleeds
over and over,
all these years,
until today
when at my ebb
I again turn for help,
waiting
hopefully
breathlessly
knowing that at last
it will be yes!
It must be yes!

The answer's still
no.
Now I don't care
whether or not
the bleeding
stops.

Is that perhaps
the only place
where final healing
final rest
final-ity
can be found?

Is the shape
of hope
just a fraud?
Teasing us all,
Fooling us all,
Lying to us all?

(not the best day, today. Happens)

Thursday, April 26, 2007

FRIDAY FIVE: WHAT ARE YOU.....

1. Wearing -
~Sweatpants and a T shirt. My standard sleepwear. More Vic's secret than Victoria's

2. Pondering -
~How on earth I'm going to fit in one hour of exercise each and every day, while completing the other 27 hours of "must do's" on my To Do list.
~What would be a good story for my next installment piece and praying for inspiration.
~Why the owner and teacher at yoga yesterday were so mean when I was just asking a simple question.
~Where Wonderboy misplaced his wallet with his library and ID card, plus his cash.
~How much wood could a woodchuck chuck, if a woodchuck could chuck wood.

3. Reading
~Just finished Anne Lamott's "Grace Eventually". First time I've read her. Love her style.
~Dietrick Bonhoeffer's "Life Together" as recommended by a commenter here from one of my "Village" posts.
~Fannie Flagg's "Can't Wait to Get to Heaven". I love Fannie Flagg. Good relaxin' before bed reading.
~Jason Boyett's "Pocket Guide to the Apocalypse". Really funny while being a great review at the same time.

4. Dreaming
~Of being able to earn a good living with my writing......Any suggestions?
~Of regaining my former athletic level of fitness (Doc told me this week it could be done)
~Of finding true community in, if not my church, a church somewhere and finding mentors for Wonderboy to learn how to be a good Christian man.
~Of swaying in a hammock on a Hawaiian beach with a good book, a perfect Mai Tai and a sweet breeze blowin' through my hair. (actually got to do that once. It's a memory that lingers tauntingly)
~About what heaven will be like. Death's been circling my family, though currently not in a morbid way. Just in a 'surprised to wake up alive again today' way. I know that sounds bizarrely strange. But if you were on my side of the glasses it would make perfect sense.

5. Eating
~Trying to forget about that. I will try today to go with:
....Oatmeal for breakfast with green tea before the exercise and coffee
....Hardboiled egg for snack
....Salad for lunch when I take my mama out for her birthday
....Whatever's light I can find in the fridge for dinner
....Birthday cake, ice cream and Irish coffee for Happy Birthday time! (hey, if I'm good all day.......)
[Just kidding on the last]

Tuesday, April 24, 2007

PAUSE FOR A QUESTION ON SLEEP


Before I go off to research land for this, any of you folks with kids ever experience sleep problems with your kids when they were 8 or so? And if you did, what did you do?

Friday, April 20, 2007

FRIDAY FIVE - SURPRISED BY JOY

This week Songbird asks:

Tell us about five people, places, or things that have brought surprising, healing joy into your life.

My son - never expecting to be a mother in my life, and quite frankly never wanting to be such and being quite sure I was unable to conceive, my son is a miraculously joyful surprise.

The church - I believed I was finished with church because church was indeed finished with me. Imagine my surprise when taking my son to be introduced to God, scriptures and a Sunday School experience, that the church still had more pain to inflict upon me. And through those painful experiences, carved out a much larger capacity for me to experience all things, including joy.

Blogging - Being a technofeeb, if you had told me one year ago that I would be a mondo blog hacker with widgets and tracking meters I would have looked at you as if you had said "Gort barada nickto". And yet being able to write for an appreciative audience (cause I have not been able to sell a *&*(@*!! thing) has been an inspiration and a joy. And I do thank you all.

Yoga - I hate exercise. I hate sweating. Hate 'em, oh yes I do. I used to take dance classes for exercise, because I love to dance and don't tell me that's exercise. It's fun. And you don't sweat when you dance, you glow. But when arthritis in my back kept me from any aerobic exercise, and I had to do something to avoid *wince* injections, it was yoga or pilates. Pilates is too much direct exercise and yoga at least has a bit more of an interesting cache about it. So I put on my big girl stretchies and went to Bikram. I still hate exercise. And I still hate sweating. But the benefit to my body and mind is so great that I'm surprised I don't mind these at Bikram. And the joy I feel afterward to be more present in my body is great.

I don't have a number five. Not yet. Number five is blank today. To be filled in. The joyful moments for me today are not often and don't last long. I have faith this will change. But first I gotta walk through the valley of the shadow. Hey! That would be a great name for a Christian rock band: The Valley of the Shadow.

And check out the blog from yesterday called "A Disturbance in the Force". If you have something to add to my unscientific study, please do.

Friday, April 13, 2007

FRIDAY FIVE - DENTAL EDITION

ReverendMother and Cheesehead are in tooth hell this week, so ReverendMother has picked these for Friday Five:

1. Are you a regular patron of dentists' offices?
Well, not to the dentist. I have been gifted with gum issues. I get to see a periodontist every 5 months for what's called a "partial scaling". This is a curiously scabrous term for a tooth cleaning with an attitude.

2. Whatever became of your wisdom teeth?
Two never showed up because I, apparently, was not quite wise enough. The other two had to be removed because, (oh I know you're gonna laugh) *wincing for the gales of guffaws* I have a tiny little mouth and don't even have room for all my regular teeth. (I have 24 out of 30)

3. Favorite thing to eat that's BAAAAAD for your teeth.
POPCORN!!! with lots and lots of butter. That and glazed buttermilk donuts. Oh yeah and toffee.

4. Ever had oral surgery? Commiserate with me.
Oh yes. I had a gum graft when I was 27 (just 3 years ago! hahaha), and just last month I had to have some gum cut off around a crown. And there's that wisdom tooth removal thingie. That was intense.

5. "I'd rather have a root canal than _________________."
I'd rather have a root canal than dinner with my mother-in-law.

Bonus: Does your dentist recommend Trident?
No, he says that for a queen like me, a scepter would be more appropriate. ; )

Tuesday, April 10, 2007

THE WONDER OF PAST EASTER JOY

She walked into the house and smelled
a smell that wasn't lunch.
It had a noxious odor
and she soon had a good hunch

About exactly what had caused
her nose to pinch all in.
She followed the trail of smelliness
and found it under the gin.

Aha! she cried, I knew for sure
that sonny had fibbed to me,
For under that gin she discovered
the 6 month old Easter candy!

She lifted it up holding it out
far away from her heaving breast
that threatened to hurl her just downed lunch
all over her red, white and blue dress.

Mold of many colors grew thick
on the jelly beans
and the chocolate bore a strange and thick
white fuzzy covering.

She took the offending basket outside
and dumped it in the bin
then scurried as fast as fast as could be
back to the house and in

Where upon finally breathing deep
and letting out an "OY!"
she fell thankfully upon the couch
clean air filling her lungs with joy.

Now sonny came home and seeing what was
headed off south at an impressive run,
but was soon caught by his good Mom
who indeed was Wonder Woman.

Now Easter time in this good house
is stress and worry free
for the basket is now filled with
soap and plastic broccoli!

Dedicated to Purechristianithink, Jodie and SpookyRach

Monday, April 09, 2007

BLOG POEM TUESDAY


In my six years of Improv Workshop with Gary Austin, one of my most very favorite exercises was the Improv Poem. You stand up in front of the class and subjects are shouted out. Gary then picks the subject and you are to recite a poem about that subject off the top of your head, in the meter of "Mary Had a Little Lamb".

It's one of the many things I miss about doing those workshops. I thought I'd try a Blog Poem exercise. Just for fun.

If you will leave suggestions for subjects in the comments, I will pick one tomorrow and write a poem about it and dedicate it to you! Nothing obscene or blue, please. This is a family page.

The deadline will be 5:00 p.m. PDT.

All copyrights and rights reserved by me, etcetera etcetera.

On your marks.....Get set......GO!

P.S. Just to be clear: The deadline is Tuesday at 5:00 and thanks!

Sunday, April 08, 2007

Saturday, April 07, 2007

PASSING TIME


My mom's here this weekend for the Easter holiday and we were ruminating on "time" this morning. Here are the day's questions:

Does the nick of time bleed?

Does anyone ask permission before splitting seconds. Does the ACLU need to get involved here?

Is time out of mind in therapy?

Does time mind when we're on it? (Perhaps that's why it's in therapy)

Does time leave a stain when it's on your hands?

Are sooner or later the trailer trash cousins of carpe diem?

How long have now and then been dating?

Where do you hide your time so it's not stolen?

Why is it still two timing when it occurs three, four or more times?

When time tells, do we get any chance to say "did not"?

Can wasted time be recycled?

Gotta go now. I'm out of time.

(shared hat tip to my mama)