Wednesday, March 19, 2008

HEY WHAT ABOUT ME??? by guest blogger: Cally the Main Cat

Dear humans who read this blog,

It is only fair that I get to have my say, after that extreeeeeeemely long post about the Evil Lucy. Do not be fooled by her soft meows. Do not be fooled by her silky, shiny fur. And do not be fooled by her snowy white whiskers! You can trust me. I am the MAIN cat. That means I was here first. By two whole entire months almost 14 years ago!

I work very hard in this house. You can tell by how very skinny I am. I work very hard to be first at breakfast, first in the clean litterbox, and first at treats time. In fact I am sometimes even an hour early for treats time, which makes me have to ask for treats AGAIN. I call it "Chinese dinner night". After early treats, you're hungry for them again an hour later!

And see where I am reclining? Not on the computer table. Noooooo. I am here, quietly waiting on the floor! The floor I tell you, below the tiny computer desk. This is because I am so much smarter than that Lucy. I mean, think about it. There are NO TREATS up on that tiny little desk. Not even any plastic.

Oh yes. I love to lick plastic. It's my number three hobby after breakfast and treats.

Always Talking Lady, (who I think of as my mom, and compliment her with this knowledge EVERY morning at 3:00 a.m., when I knead her chest, purr loudly in her ear and give her love nips on the fingers), NEVER puts me out of the computer room. Because I have very good manners. And I tell her so every single time I think about it. Unless I am asking for more food. Or needing some more special combing because of the hairballs. Oh! And I am soooo considerate that sometimes I even make sure to garp behind the furniture, out of sight and harms way. Lucy just garps straight onto the middle of the floor!

Lucy thought she was insulting me one day by saying that I am narcissistic. Ha! is what I said back. HA HA HA. I mean well, and why not? How else is it going to be all about meeee -- ow.

That is my say. Thank you for listening. Please leave a treat at my paws on the way out.


Princess of Everything (and then some) said...

Chinese dinner night *snickers*

You lick plastic???

I am so glad that you are so not into yourself sweet MAIN cat.

St. Casserole said...

Cally, you are one beautiful cat.
I can see that you are humble and gracious.

Whistle read this post and you remind him of one of his favorite kitties.

He said he will come help you eat cat cookies anytime you wish.

Your Mom is a generous sweetheart and I'll punch out anyone who says otherwise.

Gannet Girl said...

You are an extremely beautiful cat. And quite witty.

Hot Cup Lutheran said...

hmmmm mochajava puppy is snoring so loudly it was hard to concentrate...

Sue said...

Cally, you are a very beautiful cat! And clearly very smart too. Nice work garping behind the furniture - that way it is good and petrified by the time it is found.

You lick plastic? Interesting...