Feeling masochistic, I've been reading old writing files. Here are some sayings from a beginning draft of my sequel to "I Don't Know Much, But I Have a Lot To Say".
Only because it's Monday:
SIGNS OF A BAD DAY:
The memory yarn in your panty hose has amnesia.
Your bowels feel all dressed up with no place to go.
Your computer has a spastic colon.
The Geophagus has vertigo.
Your silk plants have root rot.
Your silk pants have root rot.
Your feet have an argument and will no longer walk together.
The recession is so bad even your gums have moved back.
I finally figured out how to avoid doing laundry with a clear conscience. Zen Laundry: Simply repeat over and over “Nothing gets dirty.....Nothing gets dirty.”
Can you name all the presidents? Why? What’s wrong with the names they already have?
I have the cheapest long distance service. It’s 10-666. The calls are all free, but the bill is a devil to pay.
If a half wit is 50% of a whole wit, is a dim wit less or more than that?
We need Sympathy Cards for:
The loss of integrity
The loss of hair
The loss of mind
The loss of way
The loss of foreskin
That's all for now.