Thursday, April 03, 2008

LITANY OF LAUNDRY


This is my 400th post! And it's dedicated to Rev Kim who gave me the idea (with apologies to those many menfolk out there who help with or do all the laundry in their houses) :

LITANY OF LAUNDRY

Let us sort for the whole household of family and for all humans and creatures according to their hampers, saying “Sort our laundry.” For the whole house that, true to the male and teenaged personalities therein, may witness a narrowing of passageways from dirty socks, underwear and t-shirts. Oh Mom,

Sort our laundry.

For all the rooms of the house, the kitchen with dirty dish towels, the bathrooms with dirty bath towels, the bedrooms with dirty sheets, the family room where hamper overflow doth spill, O Mom,

Sort our laundry.

For all the sports uniforms with creative body odor smells, for all new items of clothing needing pre-washing, for all white socks in need of pre-soaking, O Mom,

Sort our laundry.

For he and she who venture each day to conquer the mighty cash dragon in fresh cotton shirts and knife pleated pants or skirts, that come home dripping with the corrosive spit of “THE MAN”, O Mom,

Sort our laundry.

For children who happily leave for school in crisply ironed uniforms or handbook appropriate school attire, to return home covered in glue stick paste, tempera paint and grass stained knees, O Mom,

Sort our laundry.

For the stains of shame that include underwear skid marks, lipsticked collars, and lunch condiment circles on whites or brights, O Mom,

Sort our laundry.

O Mom so under-appreciated and gratitude challenged, please do not mix colors with whites, or cause whites to turn pink from reds, or wash knits in shrinking hot water. Cleanse our textiles with proper detergents and temperatures. We ask, as we head out the back door to play “skiing down the muddy hill on our bottoms”, while you sort.


Amen.

11 comments:

cheesehead said...

You had me at "corrosive spit".

Hee hee!

dust bunny said...

bwaaaahhhhhh!!!

Rev Kim said...

Aww, thanks PG! This is soo funny!

Quotidian Grace said...

Wonderful! Your creativity never ceases to amaze me. Love it!

Barbara B. said...

Love the litany!

And holy toledo, 400th post! Congrats you prolific blogger you.

Purechristianithink said...

Do you have a "Changing the Litter Box" litany???

Hot Cup Lutheran said...

oy! good thing hubhc does his own laundry... and mochajava has none. so i guess i have no one to blame but me... *sigh*

Sue said...

love this!

zorra said...

hee hee!

Wyldth1ng said...

Wow.

Deb said...

:SNORT:
ROFLMAO!!!!!!

d