Tuesday, October 28, 2008

THE VET WHO DID NOT VET

That Dave P. finds the BEST stuff!!! I could not resist one more political post.

Tuesday, October 21, 2008

REQUIEM FOR JOHN

John Robert McGraham was doused with a flammable liquid (probably gasoline) and set on fire by a teenaged boy October 9, 2008. One man who was interviewed said he tried to put out the flames, and that John never cried out.

He died from his burns. His
Memorial Service on Sunday indicated that he had a loving family who tried to help him with his chronic depression. But no one was ever able to reach him.

This is the worst of
recent attacks on the homeless that seem to be escalating all over the country.

I believe there is a correlation to this and the dying of mainline churches. I believe there is a correlation between the dying of common decency in this country and the dying of mainline churches. I believe there is a correlation between the shouts of killing the other party's opponent and the dismissals of the shouts not being "heard" and the dying of mainline churches. I believe there is a correlation between
attacks on people's property who display political support signs of the t'other party and the dying of mainline churches. I believe there is a correlation between the acceptance of political candidates lying as normal business as usual and the dying of mainline churches.

And I believe that the death of civil community and the dying of the mainline church is interrelated.

Whoever wins this most contentious election will find it a hard road to reinvigorate civil standards of tolerance, acceptance and community in this country because the major founding base has, IMO,  lost its moral compass.

So, for John Robert McGraham, and for the rest of us, I will try to remember to pray for whoever wins. Come what may.

CALLING ALL SWING VOTERS!

Friend Dave P. (who is an endless wealth of fun resource materials) has found yet another gem. This one is for all you swing voters out there, or those who just enjoy good tunes.

Thursday, October 16, 2008

FRIDAY FIVE - COIN TOSS EDITION



From Songbird this week:

"Well, Gals and Pals, this weekend we'll be rendering unto Caesar what is Caesar's, and that has me thinking about coinage."

Thank you Songbird!!  I must say that I do enjoy coins. There is something substantially satisfying about the heft and jingle of coinage. It's accountant's bling. And shiny new coins a'jingling are as fun as Christmas presents! I have faux gold coin earrings and I used to have a favorite belt that was made of faux gold coins. And you can learn a lot about history and politics from the  study of ancient coins!

1) When was the last time you flipped a coin or even saw one flipped in person?


It was sometime in the last couple weeks. I love quarters. They are just the perfect flippable weight. When I pick one up I like to flip it. Especially if it's one I found on the ground! 




2) Do you have any foreign coins in your house? If so, where are they from?

I have old French coins around from the days before the Euro, when I traveled to Paris on business. Plus a couple Canadian coins that snuck in over my wallet border from some store's cash register. And coins from South of the border. Somewhere. Plus some really cool ancient Roman coins from my dad. D'ya think Caesar's gonna want them back?





3) A penny saved is a penny earned, they say. But let's get serious. Is there a special place in heaven for pennies, or do you think they'll find a special place in, well, the other place?

There will be no need for coins in heaven.  All vending machines will provide snacks and beverage simply with a proper prayer. And they've certainly done nothing to merit copper melt down in H*E*double hockey sticks! Their place is in my pennies boxes about the house. Wrapped in 50 cent coin wrappers. Waiting their turn to be sent to Bank Heaven to be transmogrified into paper! I've heard there are plans to do away with the penny! I would be very sad if that were to happen. 





4) How much did you get from the tooth fairy when you were a child? and if you have children of your own, do they get coins, or paper money? (I hear there may be some inflation.)

The tooth fairy was really good to me until I was 8 and figured out who it was. I got 50 cents per tooth! In a 50 cent piece. After age 8 and the canines and other teeth came out I got bupkiss. Wonderboy gets a paper buck a tooth. Kids today don't have the same appreciation for precious metals.  Maybe it's because coins are mostly faux filled now. We do have a really nifty tooth bank (exactly like the one above) to save his teeth in. We have them all but one so far. He kept taking one of them out to play with  and it's decaying somewhere down in the den even as we speak.






5) Did anyone in your household collect the state quarters? And did anyone in your household manage to sustain the interest required to stick with it?

Both Wonderboy and I are collecting these flippable beauties!! I have a special book that details information on each state with the coin's history behind the state's motto and such. Wonderboy has a nice cardboard keepsake that someone gave him as a gift. I'm missing that last three!! Can anyone help??? Kentucky took just forever to get hold of for some reason.


Tuesday, October 14, 2008

WHAT IF......

Here's a fun website someone came up with to help us get an idea of...... what if....

Palin were President!

Click on all the stuff in the office to play.


(hat tip to Dave P.)

Tuesday, October 07, 2008

....just a note, in several part harmony

Before school conversation:

"Mom! Why are you dressing up more this week?"

"Darling, I feel it's important to accessorize for the apocalypse."






Amen.

Sunday, October 05, 2008

DEAR AUNT CRABBY - Agin, the 2nd time

*Brrrrrrrinnnnnnngggg*
"Well Hi Thar! Y'all have reached Sam! Financial expert and Home Security Consultant. Please speak your piece at the tone"

"Sam, you no good son of a -"

CLICK, "Why Crabby! To what do I owe this dubious honor?"

"I j'es got a letter from our niece, uh, Oh Lordy, what is that girl's name?"

"Cindy?"

"I dunno, she the one what got married in 10th grade?"

"The very one. An they're still happily entwined, I am proud to say."

"Then it's the  t'other one. I think the one what has 6 earrings in one ear and a tattoo of Betty Boop on 'er hind parts."

"That's be Gloria."

"OK. Anywho, she's tellin' me some nonsense about Wally and how you done went to the bank and put the whole damned family in hock up to their eyeballs bailin' that boy outta 5 minutes of trouble before he gets back into 10!!! Is this true?"

*throat clearin heard*

"Sam, Sam you there? Oh damn hold on a minute, I jez set Precious on fire."

*Phone drops to floor. Footsteps walk away*

*from a distance Sam hears: "Precious what did I tell you about jumpin' on me when I've just lit my afternoon ceegar? Gracious me, It's a miracle you have any fur left at all!" *footsteps back to phone.

"Sam! You there you thievin coot?"

"Right here my dear Crabby. Y'all still have those 8 cats?"

"More like 18 now. I dunno where in tarnation they come from,  but  they shore know a sucker for purrin' when they see one! Now, enough pleasantries. I want you to explain to me what on earth you was thinkin' bailin' Wally out. We just don't do that!! Never have. You know he's fulla lies and empty promises these last few years."

"But Crabby, think of all the good years he done right by us. An' besides, if we don't rescue him, nobody will no more, an' all that investment on schoolin' we gave him will go to waste."

"Sam, you idjit!! It's gone to waste now. And you KNOW who everbody's gonna come to when the manure hits the combine! You know it'll be me they cry to. An' what the hell am I supposed to do?"

"You still got all them mattresses darlin?"

"Who tole you 'bout that? Who? I want names now. Somebody's gonna get hurt."

"Don't matter, Crabby. But you know you got plenty a dough to help out now. No way you're gonna spend all the money in yore liftime."

"That is NOT for you to decide. Since when do you get off your high horse and put the family in debt without permission, then decide that my hard earned savins' is what'll bail all your'ins hides out!!!! This is just wrong. I've a mind to come down there this very minute with my shotgun and teach you a lesson in manners!!"

"Crabby, Crabby, Crabby. J'es calm down now. It ain't like you're gonna run outta money for ceegars and cat food. It's j'es a little bit."

"How much?"

"How much what?"

"How much we talkin' about here, Sam?"

"Well, I don't rightly know."

"Then how in HELL can you say I won't go broke bailin' our kin out? Huh? I'd like ta know that."

"I've almost never been wrong before now. So you have ta listen ta me."

"Do not. You have done gone and lost your mind along with your good sense and decency. I will not be picking this phone up or answering my door ever agin now. So do not try to lay this on my doorstep, you ole thieven, lyin' coot!"

*Click* *Dialtone*

*to himself* "Yeah, Crabby, we'll see about that'n, yes we will." 

*Sam rubs neck of purring white Persian cat*

Saturday, October 04, 2008

DEAR AUNT CRABBY

Dear Aunt Crabby,

Thank you for the big ole box of Russell Stover chocolates for my birthday! You do remember my birthday isn't till next spring? Still, thanks awful much for the thoughtful gift. The card was funny too. I really like the way you crossed out "Get Well" and wrote in "Happy Birthday". The proctology joke played much better as a birthday joke.

I have so much news for you here. Hang onto your hat! (Do you still have that lovely straw  number with the giant pink chrysanthemums?) Remember Cousin Wally? The one who ran off to New York to become a big Broadway star? After emptying out his mama's (Aunt Lettie) wallet? Then he ended up selling Amway in Hoboken? Well after all these years, he came back to town and you will just never guess what he did.

Cousin Wally robbed all the banks in town. Ever single one of 'em. I kid you not. His scheme was so slick 'n all that not only did all of us know that he was the one what did it, he did it so slick that he persuaded us the banks had done give him all their money voluntarily! No lie. You remember what a fast talker he was! Now just when the sheriff started to poke around and ask questions, such as "Wally? Where'd all that money go what the banks gave you?", then Wally decided to get outta town. 

Now here's the part that's just so unbelievable. His car broke down! He could not get outta town. And just when all of us family and townfolk were startin' to figger out what Wally'd done, he pulled his big baby act and actually got ever one of us to feel sorry for him. Though we still didn't wanna give him any money to fix his durn car.

Then Uncle Sam, you remember him? He's the one with two bad legs cain't walk any more? He gits all of us family together and says that if we don't help Wally then the sheriff will arrest all of us and ruin our family with shame, because we are accessories!!! Can you beat that? He as much as said I was Wally's big dangly earrings!!! But Uncle Sam usually never steers us wrong. Well, maybe 'cept for the time he talked us into buying into that greasy spoon out on the interstate that ended up poison'n most of the customers from the put up tomaters from last year. 

Anyway! Uncle Sam went down to the bank. Our bank. What had no cash left from Wally stealing most of it. And he got this big ole loan. Said that we had all OK'd it. It was a big enough loan to buy Wally a new car, new suit, new shoes, new Corinthian leather wallet and pocket cash to get back to New York City! Without no guarantee of having to pay any of it back. Jus' a promise. An' you know what a promise from Wally is worth. 

Now we are all stuck payin' this  loan back. Trouble is, we all lost our jobs this year since the Panty Factory outsourced all its labor to China and the customer service to Pakistan. 

Anywho. I am writing now to thank you for the birthday gift and to ask if you could float us a little cash 'till all our government benefits kick in. We're low on milk and eggs. 

Oh and here's another funny story  I almost forgot! Remember the bank where Uncle Sam borrowed the money for Wally? The one that had no money either? It had to borrow the money all the way from China!!! Ain't that somethin' now. So now China is holdin' all the paper on our houses!!! Sure 'a hopin they don't get a hankerin' for living here in our town! We'd be sore outta luck then.

Anyway, any help you can send our  way is always appreciated. And I surely hope your rash is cleared up.

Cordially, with affection,

Your lovin' niece

Friday, October 03, 2008

ACCURATE PROPHECY FROM 1969

Here it is, from 1969. A motion picture depiction of the 2008 Bail-Out proposal now in the House of Representatives to be voted upon!!! From a British point of view. With Peter Sellers as Hank Paulson and Ringo Starr as Ben Bernanke.



The sixties. So prescient.

Wednesday, October 01, 2008

CHAIN CHAIN CHAIN

I know we have to start doing SOMETHING. I suspect the House will follow suit tomorrow or Friday.

I still can't help feeling as if my family and I have been sold into, well at best indentured servitude if not out and out slavery.

From the only one on earth who can deliver this timely lament properly -