Wednesday, June 30, 2010

JUNE 30, 2010

That expression. "My cup is half full." "My cup is half empty." 

I had a cup. Once. Never was sure what was in it. Someone tried to put something that didn't belong into it once. Maybe a couple times. One time I switched the cup with the person who put stuff into mine. THAT was funny. Exactly like the movies. 

Never met the guy, but had a relative by marriage who plead no-contest to a rape charge at the age of 89.

Got picked to ride in the Ice Capades Christmas sleigh at age 6. Waved to the audience like I was the Queen of England. 

So, today is June 30, 2010. Do you ever feel like your life is a highway and you are stuck in traffic? That's where I'm at. My tires are not flat, but they are low and I'm overdue for an oil change. 

A couple years ago when I was a bit less stuck than now, I would go read the Psalms where David demands that God smite his enemies....and if only God would smite his enemies......and please oh please smite them....and what a great guy God is for smiting those enemies. All that just makes me tired now.

Sorry...had to investigate a noise. It was our long hair pony-tailed neighbor having a catch with his grown son. Really sweet picture. 

Where was I? Oh yeah. Stuck. And why does my left leg ache all the time? 

Stay tuned for tomorrow's episode "Please God smite all my newly cropped up, age-related infirmities." "And maybe some spiders too."

Friday, June 25, 2010


Songbird has had a bad summer beginning from a black fly attack. So it's five things we love or don't about summer:

1. LOVE having air conditioning; DON'T LOVE too much heat, especially humidity and sweating;

2. LOVE swimming in general and body surfing in the ocean; DON'T LOVE dealing with sand and chlorine aftermath; 

3. LOVE not having to wear lots of clothes; DON'T LOVE excess me hanging over reduction of clothes;

4. LOVE barefootin' without frozen toes; DON'T LOVE peely feet from carpets and other surfaces sucking the living juice from my feet bottoms;

5. LOVE having my son home more to be able to go out and play; There is NUTHIN' I don't love about that!!!!

Sunday, June 20, 2010


I have no thoughts on Father's Day. My own passed in '06. Both my parents eschewed the parent days as phony commercial enterprises created by card companies.

Today I am thoughtful about relativism. From a post by Songbird and Gannet Girl. Songbird's son had a very close call in an auto accident which transported her dislike of her haircut to a greater depth of angst. Gannet Girl poses the question "Does God Suffer".

Both these posts make me reflect on how relative our human emotions and experiences are. If we have nothing to compare, then would we have any feelings about things? And is everything we experience simply a matter of degree? 

The Zen practice of meditation is a discipline to remove ourselves from the whirling vortex of relative and comparative emotion. The goal being to transcend into a place of peace and detachment from such things. I used to think this was a cold and heartless practice. That it is our emotional responses that validate these experiences; and further that it is these experiences that validate our very existence. But now, not so much. Now I ask, what is the point and what good does it do? 

I have spent the better part of the last decade in a black hole vortex of impending doom. Looking back I can see how it is my own submission to the vagaries of my emotions that caused me the most grief. The events were what they were and are what they are. It's only how much I allow myself to feel the dark side of them that hurts so badly. That and being such a sucker sometimes.

These things always bring me back to what Jesus said, "Consider the lilies". Consider them. I am a lily. Probably a black lily, if there is such a thing. And I am worrying about having enough water and food for my roots. Silly me. 

Today, Jesus is my daddy. I'm not going to buy him a card. But I might buy him a lily. 

Friday, June 11, 2010


*Cracks knuckles*

Been awhile since I've done one of these. I hear it's like riding a bicycle, which is a good then,

MomPriest writes:

".......For this Friday Five let's ponder the various ways we work out (or not), physically, spiritually, and/or psychologically."

1. Do you work out physically, spiritually, or psychologically? (I'll let you define what that might mean to you)

Physically: No time in my current circumstance of extreme stress to work out. My internist says "Don't worry, you'll get back to it, you have too much going on." and my gynecologist says "You're fat, you're stressed, if you don't work out 1/2 hour a day you will drop dead in five years"......hmmmm, what to do, what to do???

Spiritually: See above, sans doctor recommendations. I try to get to our new church twice a month. It'll be more later. I DO however keep up my regularly scheduled rant to God. I know he'd miss it if I didn't.

Psychologically: Now, there I practice rigor. I see my therapist regularly and check in with trusted friends to keep myself on the rails.

2. Are you more inclined to join a gym, or a book club? 

Gym - or more likely a regular yoga class or some such. 

3. Are you more inclined to read self-help books like Gail Sheehy's "Passages" or spiritual books like Richard Rohr or Theresa of Avila? And if so, what is your favorite?

I'm more likely to buy self help books and intend to read them. Though I fall sound asleep after one and a half chapters.

4. Are you a loyal fan of a sports team? Or do you join the bandwagon when the local team is winning? And, if so, which one? 

I don't follow sports - but I support the Lakers and Dodgers when they're in finals. And I watch Olympic ice skating. 

5. Or do you lean more toward having a favorite theologian/Spiritual writer or self help author  and if so, who? And, why.

St. Francis of Assisi is my hero because of everything he ever taught. He's like Jesus, Jr. for me.  And I like Dr. Wayne Dyer, though he tends to get redundant after a pace.

Bonus: What was the last play-off series you watched and did your team win?

I watched the Superbowl year before last, which was a GREAT game. Sorry I missed this year's. I hear that was good too. Not much a sports fan.

Thursday, June 10, 2010


I'm back. Sort of. It's been over a year since my last post.

Wonderboy and I are fine. We live with my mom in her new house. It's quite pretty. 

There is lots of news, but you'll understand I must keep mum as it is not at all cricket to post of legal proceedings while in the midst of them.

Hope you're all well.