Friday, August 12, 2011

GONE SHOPPING

It had been 25 years since she'd set foot inside a shopping mall. And it would have been the 27 more till her passing, if she'd had her druthers. But she was a good mama. She was a caring mama. And she would have been terminally guilt ridden otherwise.

Though it wasn't all her doing. The gypsy witch told her that the only solution to her son's problem would be found at the Spencer Gifts inside the Two Highway Super Outlet Mall just off the Hwy. 37. She would have brushed off the gypsy witch as a gold digging phony, but the witch knew about the ripped underpants. And no one could have known about those except her.

Damn! I've gotten ahead of myself again. I touch the floor with my head in obeisant apology. Such a bad habit.

Okay, Mama is Miranda Libbit. She's a widow woman who raised her only child, a boy, from the age of 13. Though, truth to tell, she'd raised him mostly herself all before that. Jasper, her son, is now 18 and in need of a good woman. He has to at least find one to escort to his senior prom where, it is extremely likely as they are told, he is to be named homecoming king, if he has a "hot date."

Now, after spending the high end of 5 figures to send this child to school for a first class edjooookayshun, Miranda was not about to sacrifice the great honor of his being named homecoming king!! Especially considering how she had completely blown off her own prom plus the graduation to spend those evenings being head groupie at her boyfriend's rock concerts....back in the day.

She'd consulted Madame Esmerelda, who told her to come here. And now here she was. Oh, the ripped underpants? Miranda had ripped her son's lucky skivvies just that very morning in a fit of frustration and had no idea how to tell him. What with finals and such coming up. (Not to mention that he had worn them since 5th grade and they were really, quite decidedly thin).

Definitely a bad day.

But suddenly....there....there at the Spencer Gifts cash register..there was the most enchanting creature Miranda had ever seen. She was luminous. She was radiant. She appeared to be disease free!!

...Miranda quickly grabbed a joke rubber boob t-shirt and headed for the register, thinking and planning all the way.

.......(Maybe more?? Maybe not)

3 comments:

Cyn Huddleston said...

More please, I wanna know what happens when he finds out about the drawers. And rubber void t-shirt? Do they make those? I have to hit up Spencers for window-shopping more often.

spookyrach said...

Haha! She sounds like a fun mother. And I'm with Cyn - I wanna know about what happens when he gets the shirt. Will he wear it to the prom, and if so, does he still need a hot date?

annie said...

Oh, yeah, don't leave us hanging like this! More! More!