Sunday, August 23, 2015


I know there are more like me out there. You know who you are. Like me, we are the ones with the magical refrigerator vision who can see where the mustard is parked in the door shelf. Or the two gallon jug of milk on the top shelf, in front, when "those who live in our shadow" peer and peer into the box of chill and see nothing.

We are the only ones who are able to manage "The Google" and can find the articles/instructions/recipes that are required immediately, because planning ahead is another skill lacking in those who are not us.

We are the only ones who know how to make the washing machine remove all the dirt and smells and instruct the dryer not to shrink the clothes before we impart our magical folding skills that annihilate all wrinkles.

We are the only ones who can enter the grocery store and exit with the exact items everyone in the family wants without overdrawing the checking account.

We are the ones who, in a medical emergency pinch, know exactly the medicine/ointment/pill to use because we are the only one who can calmly read a label in the midst of death throes screaming.

Perhaps it's a backhanded way of saying "I love you." More likely it's an anointed tribal position where we are designated the family medicine woman/man.

It doesn't matter that they could all figure things out themselves if they had to. It's just that we can do it ever so much faster/better/cheaper.

My 89 year old mom is understandable. She is old. She is in the years where watching the aftermath of forgetting is as entertaining as her crossword puzzle.

My sweetie is a man of great accomplishment who is used to having a personal assistant take care of the day to day minutia. But there is no more P.A. present. Just my magical self.

Then there is the teenager. The 16-year-old who wants to be so independent. "Mooooommmmmm, you don't have to worry...I can take care of everything myself. But would you please do my laundry/pick up my room/find the bread/find me a bandaid.... etc.

Understand, I love being needed so. It's a sweet elixir of existence. And oh so addicting. Of course I'll do that for you, because you could NEVER IN THIS LIFETIME DO IT AS WELL YOURSELF.

It's absolutely true. I fear for my loved ones, because I know that some day I will be old. And I will forget things myself. Like where the mustard lives in the refrigerator door shelf and how to google where the nearest pharmacy is for my old woman pills, and how the check is magically delivered to the place that makes the air conditioning run. It's going to happen. And then what will they all do?

So I'm reading this.....

Get back to me in 70 years to see if it's worked.