Ex-Presbyterian Gal

FOUR BOOKS

2011-10-30T21:40:00.000-07:00

BOOK ONE
Innocent Idiocy
The Child
There was so very much to suppress and resolve in my extreme childhood. And there was no help. No counsel. I was required to appear groomed and well behaved at all times no matter the circumstances of the day. Said circumstances included rape, molestation, bullying. And that was from adults as well as children. BOOK ONE is about learning how to live with the idea that I deserved it and others deserved better, without knowing exactly why.

BOOK TWO
Idiotic Acting Out
The Textbook Young Adult
These are the years I threw myself at things. And was really good at all of them. Enough to craft the promise of a career, only to walk away and throw myself at something else at which excelling also occurred. None of which were heart callings. And the men. So many of them. I walked through them like a torch through kindling. Still, all the while, quietly holding dear a false knowledge that I deserved it and others deserved better, without knowing exactly why.

BOOK THREE
The Threshing
The Over the Hill Come to Jesus
The last marriage. The lawsuit(s). The house(s). The death threats. The murder attempts. The mentally ill spouse who denied his mentally illness. The neighborhood felon (unlawful restraint) and the new neighborhood's resident pedophile, drug dealer with the insane boyfriend who broke into cars and houses. Walking away from a hugely successful job. Almost finding my heart's work only to have it ripped away by a tall steeple sham of a greedy money obsessed pastor. All of which was blamed on me, which I was beginning to think was not deserved and that I probably deserved better but didn't exactly know why.

BOOK FOUR
Cutting the Restraints
The Very Very Late Blooming of an Old Woman
This started in BOOK THREE wherein the child was born. The child the demanded I become who I am supposed to be because that is what a child deserves. The cutting away of all the killing weights of BOOK THREE. The finding of my voice, still angry, but very true and saying what is so. The leap into the unknown void of no income, no faith, no plush toys, because this is the only place where the demons can be mercilessly killed. Because I will have better, whether I deserve it or not.

And all throughout these overly dramatic, and painfully narcissistic books is killer humor and some very repeatable and unrepeatable jokes.

FIVE FOODS

2011-10-22T20:45:00.000-07:00

A client and I had a "cross purpose" moment a few weeks back. He wanted to deduct a number of expenses that the IRS would have disallowed. Things such as the cable TV, the gardener, his kids and wife's clothing and the kids babysitter (who is an undocumented worker). Now don't get me wrong. I don't sign a damned thing. He is the client. He can put whatever he wants into his business books. I am not paid to judge, and honestly I don't. Pretty much everyone with buttloads of cash and in "that" lifestyle all try this. But I have to tell the truth. Which was "Client, I will be deeee-lighted to categorize these expenses wherever you want. No problem-o there. However, I must tell you that they would not stand up to an IRS audit." And he became upset with me. After going back and forth, where he kept trying to manipulate me into verbalizing that it was absolutely hunky dory and allowable to deduct all these unallowable things - which I quite nicely and politely would not - and in fact, I kept telling him I'd be more than happy to put them wherever he would like me to put them .....well, he said that of course he was not trying to "cook" the books. Which I had never ever ever said.

Which leads to food. And the diet I've been on for far far too long.

There's more than one kind of food. I'm talking about spirit food. Here are five spirit foods. Some I will be giving up. Some I will be switching to.

1. Stress - I eat this every day. Too much. Stress from not enough income. Stress from an adolescent son who, while his school has many many really good things about it, gives him ridiculously too much homework without helping him to learn how to strategize and organize it. Stress from an aging mom who can't take as good care of herself and has become far far too sedentary for her health. Stress from having to be up at 5 a.m. and on the go until 10 or so. Stress from not having a really really close friend or partner for support. I chow on this all day, every day. Not tasty.

2. The sense of "entitlement" of others - I see this in all strata of social "castes" if you will. The twist of the American dream from "you can be and do whatever you choose" to "I can have whatever I want even if that means I take it away from you." This has "trickled down" from Wall Street, to Main Street to families. It's served up on dinner plates across the land, mine included. The American way of life has not matured. It has mutated into a non-nutritional diet of self aggrandized narcissism. I even see it in myself occasionally - at which time I go into the rest room and try to vomit it back up. Yes, I am an "entitlement" bulimic. It is delicious. Like French Fries and apple fritters are delicious. But oh so very bad for one.

3. "I am right and you are wrong" snacks. Especially with an adolescent who is in the throes of stretching the honesty envelope and occasionally ripping it wide open. Especially other parents whose children have never made a mistake in their entire lives. Especially in business and workplace so-called "leaders" who walk about with bloodied noses and shredded skin from all their very human and forgiveable f**k-ups, who cannot own the truth of their mistakes to save their lives. The extraordinary volume of their crunchy, crispy, munchy snacking on this is deafening.

4. Here is one of my new foods - My truth. Told honestly. As kindly as I can, but if I'm pissed, I'm gonna tell you. I've done that several times. Why didn't I do this before? Easy, because I was sure I would be killed. Because when I was a little youngster that's what my dad said he would do if I spoke my truth as I experienced it. And not only have I not been killed, but it's far far easier to wade through the detritus of the disingenuous, white-washed bullsh*t that flows so thickly these days. And I find I'm fuller much faster.

5. I eat less patience. There is such a thing as getting fat on patience. Too much patience can become enabling. Too much patience can become indulgence. Too much patience for others and not enough insistence of oneself can cause one to lose so much weight that one might disappear altogether. So I try to plate it up where it's appropriate. But when it begins to be an unhealthy amount, I set it aside. The funny thing about this is that it causes one to grow more substance as a result. And this is a good thing.

That's my banquet. Soul food for now. Dessert will be grace. I am sure of it.

7 WANTS

2011-10-09T09:59:00.000-07:00

First there are the 7 deadly selfish wants:

1. To be able to go back in time and change some things
2. To be drop dead gorgeous and have everyone give me what I ask for without giving me any grief about it or saying no the first 183 times
3. To be ridiculously, fabulously rich
4. To have size 6 feet
5. To be able to read a 350 page book in 10 minutes and remember it
6. To be married to Hugh Jackman (I've broken up with George Clooney)
7. To have the leisure to write, draw, craft all day long, every day

Then there are the 7 unselfish wants:

1. To go back in time to keep Diana out of that car
2. To be drop dead gorgeous and have everyone give me the food, water and supplies I ask for to send to starving people without giving me any grief about it or saying no the first 183 times
3. To be ridiculously, fabulously rich so that I can set up educational foundations across the land for students AND teachers
4. To have size 6 feet without gimpy dance and ice skating injuries so I can hike into the places I send the food, water and supplies to help the folks who need it, without my feet giving out
5. To be able to read a 350 page book in 10 minutes and remember it, so I can learn all kinds of things going on in the world to be a better informed citizen
6. To be married to Hugh Jackman so that George can finally get over me
7. To have the leisure to write, draw and craft all day long on days I have off between all the above and to meet wonderful creative other folks and have lovely times doing same with them.

Then there are the realistic 7 wants:

1. To change some things from "ugh" to "ahhhhh" in this life henceforth
2. To learn how to get what I need from others by asking authentically
3. To be ridiculously, fabulously rich
4. To find comfortable shoes for my big ole feet that look hot
5. To be able to read a 350 page book in a couple days and remember it
6. To be able to fantasize about Hugh Jackman while I enjoy real life men with an open mind. But not too open. Just sayin'.
7. To have the leisure to write, draw, craft all day long, every day and to meet wonderful creative other folks and have lovely times doing same with them.

8 FEARS

2011-10-02T22:01:00.000-07:00

1. I fear that if I tell you, a Google spider will carry the information to a room far away where a thick bespectacled computer nerd will interpret the information and either sell it to a company advertising wall insulation, or a government agency who will then mistake me for a Lithuanian spy.

2. Having to repeat middle school. Oh. Look. I am. Only there's waaaaaaay more homework.

3. I fear making homemade bread - that the yeast I have is expired and it won't rise, like the South again.

4. I fear the number two. I don't know why. I just always have. It's one or three for me. Never two.

5. I fear the always moving, always hiding mini black hole that hovers about me, constantly stealing my keys and then laughing ironically.

6. I fear waking up and having six toes on each foot. I would have to buy all new shoes then, as none of mine would fit.

7. I fear remarrying and being introduced to my new MIL, only to discover that she is my last MIL.

8. I fear finishing this. It's over far too soon.

WORDLESS WEDNESDAY

2011-08-17T12:02:00.000-07:00

GONE SHOPPING

2011-08-12T20:14:00.000-07:00

It had been 25 years since she'd set foot inside a shopping mall. And it would have been the 27 more till her passing, if she'd had her druthers. But she was a good mama. She was a caring mama. And she would have been terminally guilt ridden otherwise.

Though it wasn't all her doing. The gypsy witch told her that the only solution to her son's problem would be found at the Spencer Gifts inside the Two Highway Super Outlet Mall just off the Hwy. 37. She would have brushed off the gypsy witch as a gold digging phony, but the witch knew about the ripped underpants. And no one could have known about those except her.

Damn! I've gotten ahead of myself again. I touch the floor with my head in obeisant apology. Such a bad habit.

Okay, Mama is Miranda Libbit. She's a widow woman who raised her only child, a boy, from the age of 13. Though, truth to tell, she'd raised him mostly herself all before that. Jasper, her son, is now 18 and in need of a good woman. He has to at least find one to escort to his senior prom where, it is extremely likely as they are told, he is to be named homecoming king, if he has a "hot date."

Now, after spending the high end of 5 figures to send this child to school for a first class edjooookayshun, Miranda was not about to sacrifice the great honor of his being named homecoming king!! Especially considering how she had completely blown off her own prom plus the graduation to spend those evenings being head groupie at her boyfriend's rock concerts....back in the day.

She'd consulted Madame Esmerelda, who told her to come here. And now here she was. Oh, the ripped underpants? Miranda had ripped her son's lucky skivvies just that very morning in a fit of frustration and had no idea how to tell him. What with finals and such coming up. (Not to mention that he had worn them since 5th grade and they were really, quite decidedly thin).

Definitely a bad day.

But suddenly....there....there at the Spencer Gifts cash register..there was the most enchanting creature Miranda had ever seen. She was luminous. She was radiant. She appeared to be disease free!!

...Miranda quickly grabbed a joke rubber boob t-shirt and headed for the register, thinking and planning all the way.

.......(Maybe more?? Maybe not)

Life's Banquet

2011-08-03T14:17:00.000-07:00

The wasp eats the living caterpillar
while the caterpillar peacefully blinks
out of existence.
Never protesting,
Never struggling.
At one with his fate.

The dragonfly eats the living wasp
munching like a socialite at a cocktail party
as the birdies chirp
The wasp never protests,
The wasp never struggles
At one with his fate

The spider eats the dragonfly
wrapping and wrapping the leftovers into a cocoon
after devouring the juicy head
The dragonfly wonders if the spider
will enjoy the wasp
and the caterpillar
as well,
before dying.

WORDLESS WEDNESDAY

2011-08-03T13:57:00.000-07:00

WORDLESS WEDNESDAY

2011-07-27T08:00:00.000-07:00

Blogger Anonymous

2011-07-24T10:59:00.000-07:00

Hi I'm PG and I am a blogger.

HI PG!

It's been three months since my last post. And even that was just a lame link to an Easter like song.

*APPLAUSE* GOOD FOR YOU FOR BEING REAL!

I haven't blogged here because my life has been hard.

AWWWWW. .....YOUR LIFE HAS BEEN HARD? BULLSHIT, YOU DON'T LIVE IN THE SUDAN SO WHAT'S YOUR BEEF?......HEY WHINER, YOU'VE GOT A PLACE TO LIVE AND A CAR......

Hard is relative, I know. But for me it's been hard.

YEAH. IT'S HARD FOR EVERYBODY. JOIN THE CLUB.

I'm just trying to tell you why --

LIKE WE GIVE A F**K. HAVE YOU BEEN BEATEN NEAR TO DEATH?

No, but--

DO YOU LIVE ON THE STREETS?

You know I don't, but---

YOU STILL HAVE YOUR SON WITH YOU?

Thank goodness, yes, but---

ALL THESE "BUT'S". WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU, A MOTORBOAT?? BUT BUT BUT.....

.......and she slinks quietly to her seat, shutting up and sucking it up. Because she is a good girl.

GOOD FRIDAY

2011-04-22T06:55:00.001-07:00

DAILY CHUCKLE

2011-03-26T10:55:00.000-07:00

It's a Saturday morning without Wonderboy. He's with his dad today. My mom and I enjoy our breakfast over the morning paper. Usually bacon and eggs.

The conversation leading up to the chuckle is interesting in itself, and subject for a separate post. Maybe.

It led up to my mom saying, with a laugh ".....and my little mommy.....every dinner time she would lead grace and use the opportunity to try to change our opinions on things by listing them in the prayer and asking God to set us straight.."

I got this picture in my mind of my Grandmother, a single mother, standing at the head of the table with her two daughters and one son seated, hands folded over their dinner plates, listening as their mom goes on and on and on and on......
"Dear Heavenly Father, I just know you'll show Charlie that smoking cigarettes is an invitation to the devil to fill his body with desecration....." (Charlie started smoking at 8 years old....)....."And I know you'll explain to Virginia Lee and Mary Ann that boys can wait until they've memorized the New Testament...."

......and then they finally eat at 9:18 p.m., the dinner cold, immediately followed by dishes and bed time.

I can just picture my Grandma, an amazing little woman who re-defined the parameters of "steel magnolia", standing at that table, smiling with ebullient love and grace as she created the ultimate "....just wait till your father gets home..." and my mom and her siblings sitting there, taking it in. Rebelliously ignoring it at first, but years and years later, actually expressing their attention by living up to her heavenly exhortations.

Oh, if only I could show you my little granny. She was a hoot. A very canny hoot at that.

FRIDAY FIVE: SPIRITUAL PRACTICES

2011-03-25T13:36:00.000-07:00

Mary Beth writes:

"Following the image above, I like to think of the spiritual disciplines as vessels that prepare us to ride the wave of God's amazing love and presence in a new way.

For today's Friday Five, please share with us five spiritual practices or disciplines from your experience. They can be ones that you have tried and kept up with, tried and NOT kept up with, ones that you flirt with at various times, or even practices that you have tried and found are definitely NOT your cup of tea. Let us know what's worked for you...and not."

1. Every night I end the day in prayer. Every morning I begin the day in prayer. I always begin my prayer with "I am so sorry to be such a disappointment to you." I say this because things in my life have been relentlessly difficult. Which is a huge disappointment to me, so I can only imagine how God feels about it. And then I feel ever so much better. And then I pray for friends who need help and healing and maybe some potatoes, or a nice pasta dinner.

2. Whenever someone is thoughtlessly rude to my face (and these days it happens at least two or three times a day), I take a deep breath and an imaginary step back to regard them as having nothing to do with me aside from sharing a ridiculous human experience. Then I am able to inject humor and maybe even some compassion into the scenario. Though there is one situation where I am finding this enormously difficult.

3. I consider my Facebook alter ego a spiritual practice. If the girlfriend goes viral, as I'm told by some that she will, I will do my best to remember this.

4. Sunday School. I have tried in more than one place to get my son into a Sunday School program and then support him there. I cannot tell you how abysmal and idiotic they have been to date. We like our current church, but the Sunday school program has been run by an untrained mom as youth "pastor" (not ordained), and her kids bully the other kids, while they make crafts and learn how to do some songs in "sign language." So he sits in the sanctuary with his friend and her family and us and plays games on his Nintendo or iPod. Yes, I am one of those moms. At least he listens to the sermon.

5. Humor. I find humor a spiritual practice for me. If I can elicit an honest laugh, I have transformed a moment into something better. By "honest laugh", there are rules: 1. not at anyone's expense; 2. not mean, no mean jokes; 3. it must lighten the mood in a positive way; 4. folks must walk away feeling better.

I have been remiss on Bible studies. I am hoping to start a new class soon. But I am really really tired right now. So pardon me while I catch a nap. Which I find to be another really good spiritual practice.

GIVE 'EM A BREAK!

2011-03-23T13:29:00.000-07:00

Kids don't catch much of a break any more. They just don't.

You realize this likely means that when WE are old and decrepit, they are going to make us stay up until 10:30 p.m. filling out forms in order to fill one prescription. And then return it to us marked "Incomplete." and "try to be neater."

It's coming. Oh yeah.

OH BROTHER (and sister) WHERE ART THOU?

2011-03-11T16:34:00.000-08:00

On September 11 of 1992 I was on the Hawaiian Island of Kauai. It was the last day of a two week Hawaiian vacation that my now ex-husband and I had enjoyed. We were awakened at about 4 a.m that morning by a hotel staffer.

Hurricane Iniki, which had been charted to miss the island completely, had changed course during the night and was now headed straight for Kauai's south shore, where we now sat rubbing the sleep out of our eyes.

Such a giant storm for such a tiny island. See where it says "Lihue?" That's exactly where we went after leaving the hotel.

I bring this up today because of the monster earthquake and tsunamis that hit Japan this morning.

I listened to the news most of the day. How countries as far away as ours had issued tsunami warnings. Santa Cruz, here on my own coast, actually had some damage from aftermath tsunamis. A friend this morning asked me if I was OK with it and, being a total goob (sorry, Mindy, I completely misunderstood because I am a goob), thought she was talking about my recent bad mood of the week past. Anyway, the other thread that caught my ear in the reporting today was how the Japanese people were not panicked and freaking out. They were prepared. They are helping each other. The government has stepped in and is actively supporting the efforts of the people.

And this struck a chord in my memory of Hurricane Iniki.

I was at the Kauai War Memorial during and after the hurricane. It turned out to be the best shelter on the island. The first night it was full of tourists, about 20 percent of them Japanese. The very next morning after the hurricane, which had ended at about 8:30 p.m. the night before, the Japanese people were herded together, lined up and bussed out of the shelter in school busses. They were taken to, I believe it was a military dock. Not sure. But the Japanese government had immediately dispatched two naval vessels to pick up their citizens and take them home. The rest of us cooled our heels for three more days, scrubbing toilets and eating powdered eggs, after the Taco Bell and other defrosting restaurants' food was eaten.

The only reason we were flown out first was because we were in the best shelter on the island and they needed it for the residents.

I have to say that after this and after hearing about the gentle spirit of the Japanese people in the aftermath of this current disaster, that Japan seems to take far better care of itself and its citizens than we do here in the States. (citing our own hurricanes and their aftermaths here).

This further led me to reflect on how, as a church global, we have failed in inspiring this same kind of outreach and care after disasters, in our fellow citizens. Much less our own government who goes only so far, then stands back behind the fence of bureaucracy.

We have pockets of kindness and certainly many groups who raise lots of money, and show up for the cameras and sound bites. But only a few who steadfastly hang in until the last bit is mopped up and the last boo boo is bandaided. And so often, it could be much more help than it is.

Maybe it's because there are so many more of us than of them and their number is easier to manage. I have no idea. I only know it made me wish for this kind of a society everywhere. A society and government that drops absolutely everything and rushes in to help and stays until the job is done.

These "every person for themselves" "Best just take care of yourself, no one else is gonna help you" and "The Lord helps those who help themselves" attitudes are plain mean, in my opinion. Cold and hard-assed. I don't find it "tough" at all. I find it cowardly.

No, I don't want to move to Japan. Not a big fan of sushi, and those clog shoes kill my feet. But I sure admire their spirit in the wake (you should pardon the pun) of this disaster today. Oh that we could learn some of that over here.

Cause I do believe we're going to need it soon.

SLOGGING THROUGH OATMEAL

2011-03-07T12:17:00.000-08:00

Lately I feel as if I am climbing out of a hole with sheer vertical walls, greased with Crisco and without handholds.

Up at 5 and on my feet till about 10:00 with maybe an hour to sit and chill with Wonderboy. I still can't find enough time to get work to pay for things, so by the time Wonderboy is out of high school I will have burned through all my savings. Yes, I know I should be grateful to have savings when so many do not. And I am. Quite grateful in my quivering anticipation of being broke at a specified date. The good news is that when that happens I will likely have decades of living ahead of me!

Then there's the "little things" of Chinese torture -

~Having an interesting conversation with a teacher at son's school, who happens to be male. Another mom comes up, interrupts with "So how's your WIFE who you've been married to for what now, 25 YEARS"...(meaningful look over my head). Golly, so that's what that big honking gold band on his left hand meant! I was just about to ask if he'd won that in a Cracker Jacks box right after we finished talking string theory.

~Talking to another parent at school, who happened to be a man as well. His hair was growing out and I told him it suited him. Yes, those were the "hey sailor", come hither words I used. "It suits you." Then he tells me that his wife told him if he ever gets a girlfriend, he can bring her home to "share the dream." Which related to our conversation much the way pickles relate to toe jam. (well, unless you like that kind of sandwich).

Apparently I am now the school "femme fatale". Which is hysterically funny. An overweight, nearly 60, down on her luck grey haired woman is a "femme fatale." I must sweat me out some killer pheromones. I must remember not to shower too very often before picking Wonderboy up to prowl the men, and smile threateningly at the womens.

Between taking care of my son and my almost 85 year old mom, plus poor job prospects and now a Harper Valley PTA reputation, goodness, it's a miracle I get anything done at all, what with my prancing about flirtatiously talking science and haircuts with unsuspecting, vulnerable menfolk.

There are other reasons. But I shall keep them to myself. I've whined enough. Besides, you might think I'm hitting on you.

Oy. People can be such asshats. Lord forgive them. They know not what they eschew.

FRIDAY FIVE: WORDS

2011-02-18T11:11:00.000-08:00

Jan at Rev Gals is sharing her church's Sunday School curriculum on "Words", where each week someone shares a new word that expresses their passion or interest. She says:

"For this Friday Five, please list five words that identify your passions, spirituality, and/or life. Describe as much or as little as you wish."

1. Sharing
Share what you have when you can.

2. Hope
Look on the bright side. It will keep you from spiraling down.

3. Humor
It's never inappropriate. (see number 2 above)

And for me.....

4. Endurance
Katherine Hepburn said "The secret of life is to endure." I believe she was correct.

5. Motherhood
It saves/d me from myself. Best gift EVER.

PANTYPALOOZA!!!

2011-02-14T06:14:00.000-08:00

Inspired by my pal Mindy, I have participated this year in the 6th annual Pantypalooza!!

This morning, after I drop Wonderboy off to school, I will be delivering these to our local women's shelter:

There are eight gift bags and two back packs chock full of lovely items for the ladies to use and enjoy. These are gifts from me, my mom and the people from my son's school and from our church. Isn't that so cool? On Valentine's Day we get to deliver gifts that will help to ease the grief of 10 women out there who so need it!

Pantypalooza.....It's not just about the panties....

39% FULL

2011-01-27T06:10:00.000-08:00

My earthlink account tells me how full my mail box account is. For years it hopped up and down between 5% and15%.

Then came the divorce and the e-mail account hacking and the host of problems inherent thereto. And the account hovered at 26% full.

Now in the aftermaths of more than one anxiety and lactate acid producing episode of life crap, it bounces between 36% and 39%. Got up to 41% at one point.

And I get chest pains and am tired a lot.

I look at my earthlink account and sometimes liken it to a sort of "life used up" meter. How do I get it back down to it's clear and perky 5%? Rather like myself.

I pray every morning to start the day. I thank God for all the great things around me and great friends, and I end with the Lord's Prayer. But for awhile now I've begun my prayer apologizing to God for being such a disappointment. I suspect it's a sideways way of apologizing to myself for disappointing myself for ending up in such a state.

Then my wonderful friend T reminds me that I am too hard on myself and I'm doing far better than I think. And I feel better. Though I do believe I could do better still.

The funny thing is since I've been apologizing for being such a huge disappointment, I am feeling lighter and better. So while my earthlink account stubbornly sticks at 39%, I am feeling more like 28% and shrinking.

Apologies to all of you who might still come here and check in and also many thanks for hanging in. Here's wishing you a 5% kind of day.

FRIDAY FIVE: HOLIDAY REDUX EDITION

2011-01-07T11:10:00.000-08:00

Kathryn at Rev Gals writes:

".....to give us all a record and partly to give us all a chance to reflect on the 2010 Holiday Season now that we are out of it, I ask you this:"

1) What food item was one of your favorites this year - a definite keeper?

The Bruschetta my 12 year old son made. Full of fresh basil and garlic. And such festive colors!
2) Was there a meal or party or a gathering that stands out in your mind from this most recent holiday season?

No. Because 2010 was such an excruciatingly difficult ordeal, we were just hoping to get through without more shoes dropping around us. Plus my son was sick all week.
3) Were you involved in a jaw-dropper gift? Were you the giver or recipient or an on-looker?

That I got gifts was a jaw-dropper. This was the first year in many that I received more than two gifts. Though, my main pleasure has always been to watch my son open his, I would still feel a bit left out. But NOT this year....Oh no!!! What fun.
4) Was there at least one moment where you experienced true worship?

I have not enjoyed an experience of true worship in a long time. I travel the vast dry desert currently.
5) What is at least one thing you want to make sure you do next year?

Remain above-ground.
BONUS: What is something you absolutely must remember to do differently... or not at all!

OR: If you just want to sum it all up in a few words, that will work too.

Hmmmm. Next year I want to put up the outside lights I did not have time to put up this year.

FRIDAY FIVE: WHAT LIFTS YOU UP

2010-12-10T09:31:00.000-08:00

Mary Beth rolled out the Friday Five today:

"What lifts you up when you are low or troubled? Who helps you remember that you are not alone, it's getting better all the time, etc.?"

1. Music. There are certain songs that help me cry it out, after which feeling better ensues:

"Kiss From a Rose"

"Life's a Long Song"

"After the Gold Rush"

For just three examples.

2. The ever widening creativity of our species to lift each other up, for example:

Flash Mobs

And Another

3. Being able to do an improv class or performance through my teacher. Just did a "Harold" workshop. If you've never seen one, they are wonderful. I personally do the Del Close version, if you are an aficionado and know what I'm talking about.

4. My dear friends, Janis and Paul, whose kindness and open arms remind me that I do not have to shovel the mountain of crap that is so often my life, alone.

5. Last, but never ever ever ever least, my son. Wonderboy. He's just passed me in height this last week and he's not even 12! His intelligence, empathy and endless humor are things this world is going to need and keeping him safe and going the right direction down the treacherous path of childhood call me to task every single day.

And the bonus round:
I do not care for "Jingle Bell Rock." I am a shameless traditionalist and much prefer the classics, and then I like to write rude lyrics to them! Like "Jingle Bills", "Good Steve Wences drove his car, over part of Steven." Because I'm strange like that.

thanksgiving

2010-11-25T07:28:00.000-08:00

I have neglected this place. It's where I dipped my first eensy toe into the giant sea of the web. I'm debating whether or not to keep it as I have moved to other interests. And I feel that the church has booted me out the door. The organized church. My son, mom and I go to a small Science of Mind church now. Far from perfect. But I don't feel that connection to God that I used to feel in the big fancy church that kicked me to the curb. It has made me wonder if I transferred my penchant for toxic relationships to the church. I would always like the interesting, pretty, shiny boys who were dark vampiric soul suckers underneath. Hard to say.

My faith has been sorely tried these past years by Chinese water torture like drip dripping of one thing after another after another. And as of today, it does not stop. Of course there are more folks out there having similar experience. This does not help in terms of reassurance. It makes it worse because I want to help and cannot because there is just enough energy for me to keep my own life from bleeding out.

But enough existential whining! It's Thanksgiving. My biggest reason to be thankful is with his father today. Oh yes, the divorce is final. I still need a job or work or some source of income as I currently earn below poverty level wages. Good Lord, I just can't stop whining, can I? Somebody stick a turkey leg in my mouth to shut me up!

My Thankful list, because it's a good exercise that my friend Lindy taught me and her other good friends:

1. I am thankful for having a wonderful house to live in that my mother bought for all of us.
2. I am thankful for indoor plumbing, electricity, forced air heating and A/C that works.
3. I am thankful for modern textiles like polar fleece that just about cover my shiny new muffin top.
4. I am thankful for my son's school where he learns more than he would in public school and is safe from drugs and bullying.
5. I am thankful for my mom who saved us with the house and has finally become my champion.
6. I am thankful for all my blog and Facebook friends who have helped me to feel still connected to the planet through these years of ickness. The smartest, most caring and supportive people I have.ever.not yet met.period. (well, I've met a few and OMG, I wish I could meet you all. What cool people)
7. I am thankful for my stuffing. I make the best damned Thanksgiving stuffing on earth and there is a dish of it in the fridge. We don't need no stinkin', dry-as-a-popcorn-fart turkey. We got stuffing. Yummmmmmm.
8. I am thankful for affordable security cameras that we put on the house and seem to have stopped the nonsense.
9. I am thankful for the "S" family who saved my son and I, and are the best family anyone could possibly ever choose.
10. I am thankful for socks and still being able to put them on when it's cold.
11. I am thankful for the internet and all it's vast frontiers I still have to explore.
12. I am thankful for the animals on the planet and hope for their continued existence.
13. I am thankful for our guinea pig Curly who still asks to be petted even when I don't always give her treats.
14. I am grateful for skin and the amazing way it holds my guts to my skeleton, which of course leads to,
15. I am thankful for having my very own skeleton! I remember walking into physiology class and seeing one and wishing I had one. Then "DOH!" I realized I do have one of my very own!
16. I am thankful for cinnamon rolls and think that whoever created the recipe should win some kind of world renowned prize. At least a trip to Hawaii.
17. I am thankful for coffee. Oh yes. I am sooooooo thankful for coffee. I still ponder how the first cup was made. Who figured this out? Again, a world prize is in order.
18. I am thankful being able to spend time at the beach every summer. What lovely peaceful bliss. To sit on the sand and watch my son frolic in the water with his friend and talk to my friend all day about whatnot. Beach whatnot is my favorite subject.
19. I am thankful I was not born on the planet Mercury. I hate excessive heat.
20. I am thankful for modern dermatology that helped my skin clear up. Acne from age 7 was not fun to endure.
And finally
21. I am thankful for my son. He is such a great kid. Smart, funny, wise beyond his years and good lookin' too! He fills my world with sunshine, laughter and the biggest annoyances I have ever experienced! Motherhood is such a great gift. Sometimes before he goes to sleep I will say "Thank for coming to be my son!" and he will say "Thanks for coming to be my mom." Wouldn't have missed it for.the.world.

Happy Thanksgiving to you all. I hope you have good stuffing, though I know you don't have the best because it's here.

Peace,

L.J. aka PG

SINS OF THE MOTHER

2010-09-29T17:54:00.000-07:00

Related information about my childhood that my mom apparently did not know.

One of the more minor samples:
Mom: "You were always such a well behaved child"
Me: "Well, sure. I was afraid that Dad would beat me with a brush or until I peed my pants (like he had already done) or I would get my face slapped, if I did or said anything you thought was wrong."

Result:
Mom apologized and felt remorse.

I pointed out to her some important historical information:
~In those days most adults lived very superficial lives. (at least the ones in our neighborhood did). Go to work, come home, drink cocktails, eat dinner, go to bed. Children will be quiet the entire time or else.
~Therapy was not what it is today.
~Her own mother did not have a mother and thus was herself a terrible mother. So how could she have learned how to mother?

Outcome:
~Getting stuff off your chest is always a good thing
~My mom rises to the occasion. That takes a LOT at 84. And don't think I don't appreciate it.

DEAR TEACHER, PLEASE EXCUSE PG

2010-09-18T11:50:00.000-07:00

School yard bullies

School yard teasing

School yard nasty politics

When you grow up and become a parent

Nothing changes

except the School Yard venue

FASTER FASTER FASTER

2010-09-01T07:57:00.000-07:00

There's an old joke. It's interactive. Ask someone "how do you spell......" and insert these words on each request: stop, top, hop, shop, prop, cop. Then ask "What do you do when you see a green light?" Most everybody answers "Go." It's a demonstration on how easy we are to fool.

I've been remiss on keeping in touch on the blog and even on Facebook recently. With a little extra time this morning I tried to catch up. I love all my blog friends. But so many of the posts were very long. I'm sure they're well written and lovely. But I just didn't have time. So, ashamed and abashed, I relinquished the laptop to "sleep" and went about chores.......

.......Then remembered my verbose and overlong posts of past times and my self-pitying admonishments in various versions of "why do I bother?" when hundreds of supportive comments did not appear.

Hereby resolved: To shorten posts to their pithiest points and insert as much humor as humanely possible. Yes. I said "humanely." Because I am quirky. I was called this on the radio recently.

IT ALL MAKES SENSE NOW

2010-08-23T09:04:00.000-07:00

Uncle Jay explains the Mosque

WHAT? ALMOST A MONTH??

2010-08-19T10:48:00.000-07:00

Shame on me.
I say I'm coming back to my blog and almost a month has passed since my last entry.

I do have reasons.
These involve selling the family home, escrow delays, flooding disasters at home and at the sold house, mom doctor appointments, trying to meet work deadlines, and unbloggable things. Fortunately donuts and pop-tarts are still affordable. Though a new wardrobe is not. I live in culinary dissonance.

Still and all.

The world is growing crazier I think. The populace feels like it's moving in a panicked mass from one side of the room to another. The mosque, the economy, the president. In a way it's bizarrely comforting. The world is finally reaching my level of disaster and starting to outpace it. It makes me feel oddly normal.

Our church is having it's own slings and arrows. I am sitting back waiting for things I know will occur. And then, there is no church to turn to, because they all seem to have become cushy country clubs that have changed Jesus' message of loving one another, to accepting any kind of behavior from anyone anywhere because that keeps seats in the pews.

There is a light today. I have a new project on Facebook. It's fun. If you know me on Facebook, you know what it is.

Life's a roller coaster for sure, doncha know.

THE BOOK OF LEGO

2010-07-21T07:59:00.000-07:00

Late last spring my son was finally able to purchase a long cherished Lego set. He had saved for months, and had done some extra chores. Here is the set he was drooling over:

The Lego Grand Emporium

Finally he had saved up enough money. We drove to the Glendale Galleria that has the closest Lego store in 7 counties. On a Saturday. Yes, I said Saturday. Silly, funny, goofy me. This is the Greater Los Angeles Area. And on any given Saturday, the crowd is stacked three high by 10:00 a.m. It took 30 minutes to drive there; 20 minutes to park and another 15 to negotiate the crowd of salivating children in the Lego Store. Finally! A salesperson came up to us and Wonderboy made his request. Alas, they were all out! But the order was to come in the next Monday. That was not going to work for us. So they offered to order it online, and waive the shipping costs. We spent another 30 minutes trying to input the order information on the play computer with the sticky keyboard that wouldn't work right, then the screen went blank. Walked down to Target and, no dice. No Grand Emporium.

When we finally returned home the following Wednesday.....ha ha, just joking. Later that afternoon, I ordered the Grand Emporium, with shipping costs.

Finally it arrive. The outside box said "Grand Emporium". The invoice said "Grand Emporium" and inside the box was

this

Yes, it was the Green Grocer. Close, but no cigar. After initial disappointment, I offered to send it back. Wonderboy said "No!" he would build this anyway. It was the same price. He was sure.

It was built in two days. He loved every moment of every step putting it together. I like it too. It's very cool. Lots of detail and great design.

And he began to save again for his cherished dream of The Grand Emporium. Finally, this week he had saved and done enough required chores to get it. We went to the Glendale Galleria yesterday (a Tuesday, with available parking and people stacked only on a single level). The kind sales woman again said that they are sold out. Still sold out. We told her what had happened with our last order. She was very surprised and then told us something we never ever expected to hear:

"You know, The Green Grocer is a collector's item now. Lego has discontinued making it. I have a lady comes in here every week looking for one. They go on e-Bay for a few hundred dollars. If you had ordered one you wouldn't have gotten it."

*stunned silence*

She then placed his order on their computer. One that actually worked. And on the way home, we marveled at the curious turn of fortune.

After pondering this a day and a half or so, I draw parallels to Jack and the Beanstalk and the story of Joseph and his pretty coat. Well maybe not exact direct parallels, but the concept that what you perceive as a bad situation today may actually end up being spectacularly wonderful.

At least this is what I am telling myself lately. It's far cheaper than a lottery ticket.

The Book of Lego: Chapter 5 Verses 12 - 42.

Last Day of Vacay GA Oy Vey

2010-07-09T08:12:00.000-07:00

Today we go home from our second wonderful beach week in San Clemente.

Thanks to WIFI, I've been able to keep up on basic e-mails and news of folks.

And the GA this year.

I'm not technically Presbyterian any more. But I'll always feel Presbyterian at heart.

The news from friends who've kept up with the GA makes me so sad. There was no addressing why the church is losing members faster than you know what through a goose. Lots of worrying about sex. Who is having it with whom and who gets to be ordained based on where one puts one's you know whats. There is just so much skirting around the herd of elephants in the living room with the way it sounds this issue was addressed. For pete's sake, when I toured with Covenant Players I came across so many married pastors who were dipping in wells outside their marriage it became a standard joke. And that was back in the '70's! Yes, the church is mortally wounded, but this is not the wound that's killing it, IMO.

People are leaving the church in droves. I believe it is because the church is all about money, sex and politics, rather than what Jesus taught. Rather than being about mission.

And that is just so sad. Back to your regularly scheduled news cast.

JUNE 30, 2010

2010-06-30T17:57:00.000-07:00

That expression. "My cup is half full." "My cup is half empty."

I had a cup. Once. Never was sure what was in it. Someone tried to put something that didn't belong into it once. Maybe a couple times. One time I switched the cup with the person who put stuff into mine. THAT was funny. Exactly like the movies.

Never met the guy, but had a relative by marriage who plead no-contest to a rape charge at the age of 89.

Got picked to ride in the Ice Capades Christmas sleigh at age 6. Waved to the audience like I was the Queen of England.

So, today is June 30, 2010. Do you ever feel like your life is a highway and you are stuck in traffic? That's where I'm at. My tires are not flat, but they are low and I'm overdue for an oil change.

A couple years ago when I was a bit less stuck than now, I would go read the Psalms where David demands that God smite his enemies....and if only God would smite his enemies......and please oh please smite them....and what a great guy God is for smiting those enemies. All that just makes me tired now.

Sorry...had to investigate a noise. It was our long hair pony-tailed neighbor having a catch with his grown son. Really sweet picture.

Where was I? Oh yeah. Stuck. And why does my left leg ache all the time?

Stay tuned for tomorrow's episode "Please God smite all my newly cropped up, age-related infirmities." "And maybe some spiders too."

FRIDAY FIVE: HOT FUN IN THE SUMMERTIME

2010-06-25T12:13:00.000-07:00

Songbird has had a bad summer beginning from a black fly attack. So it's five things we love or don't about summer:

1. LOVE having air conditioning; DON'T LOVE too much heat, especially humidity and sweating;

2. LOVE swimming in general and body surfing in the ocean; DON'T LOVE dealing with sand and chlorine aftermath;

3. LOVE not having to wear lots of clothes; DON'T LOVE excess me hanging over reduction of clothes;

4. LOVE barefootin' without frozen toes; DON'T LOVE peely feet from carpets and other surfaces sucking the living juice from my feet bottoms;

5. LOVE having my son home more to be able to go out and play; There is NUTHIN' I don't love about that!!!!

IT'S WHAT DAY AGAIN?

2010-06-20T08:54:00.000-07:00

I have no thoughts on Father's Day. My own passed in '06. Both my parents eschewed the parent days as phony commercial enterprises created by card companies.

Today I am thoughtful about relativism. From a post by Songbird and Gannet Girl. Songbird's son had a very close call in an auto accident which transported her dislike of her haircut to a greater depth of angst. Gannet Girl poses the question "Does God Suffer".

Both these posts make me reflect on how relative our human emotions and experiences are. If we have nothing to compare, then would we have any feelings about things? And is everything we experience simply a matter of degree?

The Zen practice of meditation is a discipline to remove ourselves from the whirling vortex of relative and comparative emotion. The goal being to transcend into a place of peace and detachment from such things. I used to think this was a cold and heartless practice. That it is our emotional responses that validate these experiences; and further that it is these experiences that validate our very existence. But now, not so much. Now I ask, what is the point and what good does it do?

I have spent the better part of the last decade in a black hole vortex of impending doom. Looking back I can see how it is my own submission to the vagaries of my emotions that caused me the most grief. The events were what they were and are what they are. It's only how much I allow myself to feel the dark side of them that hurts so badly. That and being such a sucker sometimes.

These things always bring me back to what Jesus said, "Consider the lilies". Consider them. I am a lily. Probably a black lily, if there is such a thing. And I am worrying about having enough water and food for my roots. Silly me.

Today, Jesus is my daddy. I'm not going to buy him a card. But I might buy him a lily.

Sunday's To Do List

2010-06-13T06:57:00.001-07:00

MEA SLICKA

2010-06-12T12:29:00.000-07:00

This is my fault.

Charles Riedell AP Photo

This is my fault

Charles Riedell AP photo

These are not chocolate images. These are not even the end result of the BP oil spill. These are images of the beginning.

And it's all my fault.

Because I must drive a car every single day and don't operate close to home.

Because I must use these things:

ammonia
anesthetics
antifreeze
antihistamines
antiseptics
artificial limbs
artificial turf
aspirin
awnings
balloons
ballpoint pens
bandages
basketballs
bearing grease
bicycle tires
boats
cameras
candles
car battery cases
car enamel
cassettes
caulking
cd player
cd's
clothes
clothesline
cold cream
combs
cortisone
crayons
curtains
dashboards
denture adhesive
dentures
deodorant
detergents
dice
diesel
dishes
dishwasher
dresses
drinking cups
dyes
electric blankets
electrician's tape
enamel
epoxy
eyeglasses
fan belts
faucet washers
fertilizers
fishing boots
fishing lures
fishing rods
floor wax
folding doors
food preservatives
football cleats
football helmets
footballs
footballs
gasoline
glycerin
golf bags
golf balls
guitar strings
hair coloring
hair curlers
hand lotion
heart valves
house paint
ice chests
ice cube trays
ink
insect repellent
insecticides
life jackets
linings
linoleum
lipstick
luggage
model cars
mops
motor oil
motorcycle helmet
movie film
nail polish
nylon rope
oil filters
paint
paint brushes
paint rollers
panty hose
parachutes
percolators
perfumes
petroleum jelly
pillows
plastic wood
purses
putty
refrigerant
refrigerators
roller skates
roofing
rubber cement
rubbing alcohol
safety glasses
shag rugs
shampoo
shaving cream
shoe polish
shoes
shower curtains
skis
slacks
soap
soft contact lenses
solvents
speakers
sports car bodies
sun glasses
surf boards
sweaters
synthetic rubber
telephones
tennis rackets
tents
tires
toilet seats
tool boxes
tool racks
toothbrushes
toothpaste
transparent tape
trash bags
tv cabinets
umbrellas
upholstery
vaporizers
vitamin capsules
water pipes
wheels
yarn

And these things:

air conditioners
ammonia
anti-histamines
antiseptics
artificial turf
asphalt
aspirin
balloons
bandages
boats
bottles
bras
bubble gum
butane
cameras
candles
car batteries
car bodies
carpet
cassette tapes
caulking
cds
chewing gum
combs/brushes
computers
contacts
cortisone
crayons
cream
denture adhesives
deodorant
detergents
dice
dishwashing liquid
dresses
dryers
electric blankets
electrician’s tape
fertilizers
fishing lures
fishing rods
floor wax
footballs
glues
glycerin
golf balls
guitar strings
hair
hair coloring
hair curlers
hearing aids
heart valves
heating oil
house paint
ice chests
ink
insect repellent
insulation
jet fuel
life jackets
linoleum
lip balm
lipstick
loudspeakers
medicines
mops
motor oil
motorcycle helmets
movie film
nail polish
oil filters
paddles
paint brushes
paints
parachutes
paraffin
pens
perfumes
petroleum jelly
plastic chairs
plastic cups
plastic forks
plastic wrap
plastics
plywood adhesives
refrigerators
roller-skate wheels
roofing paper
rubber bands
rubber boots
rubber cement
rubbish bags
running shoes
saccharine
seals
shirts (non-cotton)
shoe polish
shoes
shower curtains
solvents
spectacles
stereos
sweaters
table tennis balls
tape recorders
telephones
tennis rackets
thermos
tights
toilet seats
toners
toothpaste
transparencies
transparent tape
tv cabinets
typewriter/computer ribbons
tires
umbrellas
upholstery
vaporizers
vitamin capsules
volleyballs
water pipes
water skis
wax
wax paper

All of which are petroleum based products.
...and because I don't live like this

(google images)

I am apologizing for this while typing on my plastic
computer keys, sitting on my vinyl covered chair, wearing my plastic reading glasses.

Sorry.

We are all addicts with no 12 step program.

FRIDAY FIVE: WORKOUT EDITION

2010-06-11T09:40:00.000-07:00

*Cracks knuckles*

Been awhile since I've done one of these. I hear it's like riding a bicycle, which is a good workout......so then,

MomPriest writes:

".......For this Friday Five let's ponder the various ways we work out (or not), physically, spiritually, and/or psychologically."

1. Do you work out physically, spiritually, or psychologically? (I'll let you define what that might mean to you)

Physically: No time in my current circumstance of extreme stress to work out. My internist says "Don't worry, you'll get back to it, you have too much going on." and my gynecologist says "You're fat, you're stressed, if you don't work out 1/2 hour a day you will drop dead in five years"......hmmmm, what to do, what to do???

Spiritually: See above, sans doctor recommendations. I try to get to our new church twice a month. It'll be more later. I DO however keep up my regularly scheduled rant to God. I know he'd miss it if I didn't.

Psychologically: Now, there I practice rigor. I see my therapist regularly and check in with trusted friends to keep myself on the rails.

2. Are you more inclined to join a gym, or a book club?

Gym - or more likely a regular yoga class or some such.

3. Are you more inclined to read self-help books like Gail Sheehy's "Passages" or spiritual books like Richard Rohr or Theresa of Avila? And if so, what is your favorite?

I'm more likely to buy self help books and intend to read them. Though I fall sound asleep after one and a half chapters.

4. Are you a loyal fan of a sports team? Or do you join the bandwagon when the local team is winning? And, if so, which one?

I don't follow sports - but I support the Lakers and Dodgers when they're in finals. And I watch Olympic ice skating.

5. Or do you lean more toward having a favorite theologian/Spiritual writer or self help author and if so, who? And, why.

St. Francis of Assisi is my hero because of everything he ever taught. He's like Jesus, Jr. for me. And I like Dr. Wayne Dyer, though he tends to get redundant after a pace.

Bonus: What was the last play-off series you watched and did your team win?

I watched the Superbowl year before last, which was a GREAT game. Sorry I missed this year's. I hear that was good too. Not much a sports fan.

WELL HEY

2010-06-10T19:21:00.000-07:00

I'm back. Sort of. It's been over a year since my last post.

Wonderboy and I are fine. We live with my mom in her new house. It's quite pretty.

There is lots of news, but you'll understand I must keep mum as it is not at all cricket to post of legal proceedings while in the midst of them.

Hope you're all well.

THIS'LL DO

2009-01-04T22:35:00.000-08:00

I wanted to find the cut of "Stuck in the Saddle Again" by Richard Perlmutter, but it's not on YouTube. That I could find anyway.

So this will have to do. In honor of Monday's starter pistol, back to the drawing board, hair raising kick-off.

IT JUST KEEPS GETTING FUNNIER

2008-12-19T13:00:00.000-08:00

Further in the hijinks of soon to be former church.......

This past summer Wonderboy and I would pick my mom up on Sunday and she would join us at worship at church. Three times over the course of the summer she filled out a visitor card with her name, address and telephone number and dropped it into the collection plate.

Up until this week she had never heard from anyone.

When we all attended the program this past fall given by Wonderboy's choir directors and his choir, one of the elders stood up to talk about the volunteer expo. He shared that he and his wife decided to come to this church because of the wonderful welcome they received after they filled out their visitor card. The kind and caring telephone call, he went on, caused them to feel all warm and fuzzy about this church and that's why they joined. Then he stated that every single visitor card was responded to and that's what makes this church so great. The warm welcome that everyone who comes here receives.

Yesterday, at long last, my mother finally received two warm and caring responses in the mail.

One was an invitation to a dinner to be held at a posh country club near the Rose Bowl. There she could reunite with her fellow new member classmates and share her experiences of the church. She would also have the opportunity to visit again with the associate pastor who held the classes.

The other was a letter from the head pastor thanking her for her pledge commitment this year. He noted that the budget of 2.4 million this year had not been met, and that they needed 1.1 million in, oh I forget now, I think she said it was the next few months. He said, in the letter, that he is hoping the members will double their gifts next year and to please fill out the enclosed pledge card and return it.

There are interesting facts to note about all this:

~My mother never attended any new member class at this church and did not join
~My mother never made or gave any pledge or tithe to this church

And the most interesting fact of all:

Both these mailings were addressed to my mother's correct last name and address. But to Mr. JIM ----------. She is most definitely not a Jim and my deceased father was a Ralph.

Egad.

WHEREIN PG SNICKERS A SATISFYING TEE HEE BEHIND HER FAN

2008-12-18T13:00:00.000-08:00

Another entry in the saga of my soon to be former church's drama drama. This one turns it into a comedy.

Two weeks ago Wonderboy performed with his church choir at the annual Christmas concert. The adult choir, handbells and praise band performed twice, first with the younger children's choir, then later with Wonderboy's choir.

And the new drama group introduced their wares to the congregation for the first time.

Before the performance I had run into a friend of mine from the adult choir. She was one of my actors when I produced drama at this church. I learned from her that this group provides "free" chancel dramas in exchange for rehearsal and performance space. A quid pro quo arrangement. She also told me that in order to join this theater group in any capacity, one must pay monthly membership dues. Remember this part. You will find it interesting later on. She also said that she would be interested to hear what I thought after the performance.

First I will dispassionately tell you the choice of material. They enacted two pieces of scripture. One was Mary meeting her cousin Elizabeth. The other was Elizabeth and Zechariah.

Next I will say the good things that I can about their performance. "They were clothed. "

Now I will say what I would have said if asked my opinion. "I am certainly not in their league.", "Never in my entire life could I produce anything of this quality.", and "Words fail me."

During the first piece with Mary and Elizabeth, the woman portraying Mary would recite a piece of scripture, (always facing the congregation and never relating to her fellow actor) then stop for long enough to wonder if she was all finished, then start again. I found it an interesting choice to portray Mary as a narcoleptic. The woman portraying Elizabeth did the Celine Dion chest thump on her belly when saying "the baby leapt in my womb.....", which in real life would have likely rendered John the Baptist deaf as a post. When Mary was speaking without relating to Elizabeth, Elizabeth plastered a frozen look of rapture on her face. We used to call this "mugging".

The second piece was....well...um....here's where words fail me. Zechariah and Elizabeth re-entered with Elizabeth now carrying what looked like a football wrapped in a blanket. She wore the same plastered look of rapture. The actor portraying Zechariah started in strong with his first sentence. Then stopped cold. After a couple, er, ums, hehs, he would paw at the "baby's" blanket, obviously looking for lines that must have been hidden in there. Elizabeth's rapturous mug started to look strained the 4th or 5th time Zechariah pawed at the "baby" for his words. After awhile it kinda looked like he might be drunk. I had to cover my face, it was too painful to watch. It was the kind of awful bad that makes you feel sorry for the actors and want to go up, take them by the hand and lead them offstage with "Oh, honey, you need to stop before you hurt yourself any more." In Covenant Players we called this kind of really bad scripture enactment "bathrobe drama."

During this debacle my mom leaned over to me and said "I thought they were supposed to be pros?" She and I whispered some choice comments back and forth.

At the end of the program the director of this group was introduced as "our colleague." He is a man of remarkable girth. In a church consisting of mostly conservative families and older folks he has chosen a costume of black jeans, black long-sleeved t-shirt and a black beret to cover his bald pate. The only other color were his athletic shoes. They were white. Once. Very "artsy."

When the program was over and we stood to leave, who do you imagine was sitting right behind us? That's right, the head pastor and his wife. My mom said she hoped they heard her comments. God bless her!

The kids were wonderful. I pray that next year we'll find ourselves in a church that will inspire an inversely proportional mention of wonderful to "Egad".

The next day, while at Trader Joe's, I ran into another friend from this church. She had not attended the performance but told me she had heard plenty about the drama and how wretched it was.

As a curious P.S. a few days later my mom and I were visiting a local business we enjoy. The proprietor there knows most of what happens in this small burb of L.A. She said she knew of a woman who works as a T.V. anchor at a local T.V. station who this very drama group is always calling asking to perform with them in the church. She does not have to pay the dues to join them. In fact, they would have to pay her to perform with them.

I considered this an early Christmas present from Jesus. I will now exit this place laughing as I shake the dust from my feet.

ZINA SAUNDERS ART

2008-12-11T04:00:00.000-08:00

(copyright Zina Saunders 2008)

You all know who this guy is and the naughty naughty things he "allegedly" did that have him now cooling his heels in the pokey. I sure hope he looks good in stripes. As I hear it, Santa is "allegedly" leaving him coal in his subpoenas and skipping his Christmas stocking altogether!!

This wonderful illustration was created by the artist, Zina Saunders. For a very funny review of the election and other great illustrations and paintings, visit her website. I have been enjoying her art work for a while now since.....once again.....hold your applause....Dave P. introduced her. That man should have a blog in addition to his website!

STAND BY ME

2008-12-10T09:12:00.000-08:00

I have seen this around the bloggy world, then finally watched it when my friend, Dave P. sent it out this morning to his friends. Figured I was meant to see it. And I was. It's a wonderful piece!

It's amazing what the new technology enables more of us to do. So cool.

PSALM MONDAY - #3

2008-12-01T18:01:00.000-08:00

For Advent, today's Psalm is #24

"To the Lord belong the earth and everything in it,

the world and all its inhabitants.

For it was he who founded it on the seas and

planted it firm on the waters beneath.

Who may go up the mountain of the Lord?

Who may stand in his holy place?

One who has clean hands and a pure heart,

who has not set his mind on what is false or sworn deceitfully.

Such a one shall receive blessing from the Lord,

and be vindicated by God his saviour.

Such is the fortune of those who seek him,

who seek the presence of the God of Jacob.

Lift up your heads, you gates,

lift yourselves up, you everlasting doors,

that the king of glory may come in.

Who is this king of glory?

The Lord strong and mighty,

the Lord mighty in battle.

Lift up your heads, you gates,

lift them up, you everlasting doors,

that the king of glory may come in.

Who is he, this king of glory?

The Lord of Hosts, he is the king of glory."

(from the Oxford Study Bible)

This Psalm seems perfect for the beginning of Advent. Who exactly is it who is coming? And, where do we fit in his holy place? Do we fit?

I imagine us as being the gates and the doors. Let's get busy!!

It's not an official Christmas song, but I'm making it one today.....

IT'S WINTER SOMEWHERE

2008-11-23T20:28:00.001-08:00

These guys were here Friday night and we missed them. Next year.

PSALM MONDAY - #2

2008-11-17T11:35:00.000-08:00

Today's Psalm is #7

"Lord my God, in you I find refuge; rescue me from all my pursuers and save me

before they tear at my throat like a lion and drag me off beyond hope of rescue.

Lord my God, if I have done any of these things -- if I have stained my hands with guilt,

if I have repaid a friend evil for good or wantonly despoiled an adversary --

let an enemy come in pursuit and overtake me, let him trample my life to the ground

and lay my honour in the dust!

Arise Lord, in your anger, rouse yourself in wrath against my adversaries.

My God who ordered justice to be done, awake.

Let the peoples assemble around you; take your seat on high above them.

The Lord passes sentence on the nations.

Uphold my cause, Lord, as my righteousness deserves, for I am clearly innocent.

Let the wicked do no more harm, but grant support to the righteous,

you searcher of heart and mind, you righteous God.

I rely on God to shield me; he saves the honest of heart.

God is a just judge, constant in his righteous anger.

The enemy sharpens his sword again, strings his bow and makes it ready.

It is against himself he has prepared his deadly shafts and tipped his arrows with fire.

He is in labour with iniquity; he has conceived mischief and given birth to lies.

He has made a pit and dug it deep, but he himself will fall into the hole he was making.

His mischief will recoil upon him, and his violence fall on his own head.

I shall praise the Lord for his righteousness and sing to the name of the Lord Most High."

(from the Oxford Study Bible)

This is a long one. I'll just highlight a couple impressions I have from this today. David is praying for deliverance, protesting his innocence, asking for justice, confident God will be righteous in judgement, outlining what is wicked and then offering praise. All I could think of while reading this was what if the author had been Uriah? And he was asking God to avenge him for David's plot to kill him and keep Bathsheba? David seems self righteous himself in this Psalm. I also kept thinking "Be careful what you ask for there, dog, you might just get it!!"

I read that David was very beloved of God, even though he was a hound dog in his behavior. It seems to me God overlooked all that nasty business of the flesh in regarding the bigger picture.

It also seems to me that Jesus also minimized the business of the flesh in regarding the bigger picture and gave love precedence over all in the business of salvation and eternal life.

I find that oddly comforting today. Especially after David asks for help before his enemies drag him off "beyond hope of rescue". It gives me pause to think that this is even possible. I know, I know, Jesus is the rescuer. But still. David was a favorite and it was possible for him. Still, oddly comforted.

PSALM MONDAY

2008-11-10T06:46:00.000-08:00

I am inspired by Lindy. A Psalm a day sounds like a good dose of day start-age. Today is the first day, so the first Psalm it is. Every Monday I'll post where I'm at.

PSALM 1

Happy is the one who does not take the counsel of the wicked for a guide,

or follow the path that sinners tread,

or take his seat in the company of scoffers.

His delight is in the law of the Lord;

it is his meditation day and night.

He is like a tree planted beside water channels;

it yields its fruit in season and its foliage never fades.

So he too prospers in all he does.

The wicked are not like this;

rather they are like chaff driven by the wind.

When judgement comes, therefore, they will not stand firm,

nor will sinners in the assembly of the righteous.

The Lord watches over the way of the righteous,

but the way of the wicked is doomed.

(Oxford Study Bible)

There are different categories of person in this psalm. I'd like to think I was righteous, though I know it's not always so. There are two definitions for righteous, which helps. One is "morally upright, justifiable and virtuous," and the other is "perfectly wonderful, fine and genuine". Sometimes I am those things in various combination. But not always. Sometimes I have been the other things in this psalm: wicked, scoffer and a sinner. And honestly I do not always delight in the law. It's not my meditation day and night. There are chores here! Lots of them.

Does that mean that when I am not righteous God is not watching over me any more, or that I'm just not really happy? Maybe it's similar to when I watch my son for the umpteenth time walk away from the bathroom without flushing. After throwing up my hands in frustration, I just charge him 50 cents. That actually worked. He was not at all happy about paying 50 cents a non-flush. Maybe when we stray from the path, God just backs off, lets us suffer the consequences till we figure it out and get back on track. "The way of the wicked is doomed". (For some reason that makes me think of Ray Bradbury's "Something Wicked This Way Comes")

Then again there are many times I do my best to stay the course and do not feel at all "watched over" during the major "crappity" (thanks Cheesehead) whatsoever. That one I cannot figure out. It's on my list of "What was THAT about?" when I meet up with the Lord.

I don't think I'm supposed to go through my day pointing at people, deciding they're wicked and giggling over their doom. That would be far too simplistic and inaccurate a take on this Psalm. I think instead, I will try to be a tree today. With great looking foliage. Righteous foliage.

FRIDAY FIVE - FUNNY PAPERS

2008-11-06T21:45:00.000-08:00

I got to do the Friday Five this week!

After an exhausting election here in the states it's time for some spirit lifting! Join me with a nice cup of tea or coffee or cocoa and let's sit back and read the Funny Papers!

1. What was your favorite comic strip as a child?

There were a lot I really loved including the usual suspects from Peanuts and Beetle Bailey, but this one,

Johnny Hart's Wizard of ID made me laugh every week!

2. Which comic strip today most consistently tickles your funny bone?

Opus and all the other folks in Bloom County by Berkeley Breathed.

(....and Jerry Van Amerongen's Ballard Street always cracks me up too)

3. Which Peanuts character is closest to being you?

That would be Sally, even though I don't have a big brother.

4. Some say that comic strips have replaced philosophy as a paying job, so to speak. Does this ring true with you?

I would agree somewhat with this. Considering that the majority of the idea buying public no longer has the attention span, much less the time to read Spinoza, Camus, Neitzche, Hegel, Descartes, or Kant and the others. My improv teacher used to tell us that it actually takes more talent to convey an idea in fewer words than in lots. In fact, he used to say this to me in particular quite often, for some reason. At any rate, a first rate philosophy needs to be looked at from all sides which takes longer than a six panel strip, though the strip can successfully impart it's through line.

5. What do you think the appeal is for the really long running comic strips like Blondie, Family Circle, Dennis the Menace as some examples?

I think they hearken back to simpler, sweeter days that we seem to have lost. I chalk this up to simple nostalgia.

Bonus question: Which discontinued comic strip would you like to see back in print?

Dear Gary Larson, Please......New Far Side cartoons. I want more. MORE!!!!!

(All images from Google)

MOVING ON TO POULTRY......

2008-11-06T11:21:00.000-08:00

(Thanks MSNBC for the pic)

It's time to move past the election and politics to important issues. For November, the subject of poultry comes to mind and while it's not yet time for turkey, let us contemplate that age old question from the points of view of many famous world leaders, pundits and artists........

WHY DID THE CHICKEN CROSS THE ROAD?

BARACK OBAMA: The chicken crossed the road because it was time for a change! The chicken wanted change!

JOHN MC CAIN: My friends, that chicken crossed the road because he recognized the need to engage in cooperation and dialogue with all the chickens on the other side of the road.

HILLARY CLINTON: When I was First Lady, I personally helped that little chicken to cross the road. This experience makes me uniquely qualified to ensure right from Day One that every chicken in this country gets the chance it deserves to cross the road. But then, this really isn't about me.

GEORGE W. BUSH: We don't really care why the chicken crossed the road. We just want to know if the chicken is on our side of the road, or not. The chicken is either against us, or for us. There is no middle ground here.

DICK CHENEY: Where's my gun?

COLIN POWELL: Now to the left of the screen, you can clearly see the satellite image of the chicken crossing the road.

BILL CLINTON: I did not cross the road with that chicken. What is your definition of chicken?

AL GORE: I invented the chicken.

JOHN KERRY: I voted to let the chicken cross the road, but I am now against it! It was the wrong road to cross, and I was misled about the chicken's intentions. I am not for it now, and will remain against it.

AL SHARPTON: Why are all the chickens white? We need some black chickens.

DR. PHIL: The problem we have here is that this chicken won't realize that he must first deal with the problem on this side of the road before it goes after the problem on the other side of the road. What we need to do is help him realize how stupid he is acting by not taking on his current problems before adding new problems.

OPRAH: Well, I understand that the chicken is having problems, which is why he wants to cross this road so bad. So instead of having the chicken learn from his mistakes and take falls, which is a part of life, I'm going to give this chicken a car so that he can just drive across the road and not live his life like the rest of the chickens.

ANDERSON COOPER, CNN: We have reason to believe there is a chicken, but we have not yet been allowed to have access to the other side of the road.

NANCY GRACE: That chicken crossed the road because he's guilty! You can see it in his eyes and the way he walks.

PAT BUCHANAN: To steal the job of a decent, hardworking American.

DR SEUSS: Did the chicken cross the road? Did he cross it with a toad?
Did he cross it with a hare? Did he cross it with a bear?
Did he check if the road was hot? I kinda doubt it, I think not!

Yes, the chicken crossed the road, but why it crossed, I've not been told.
Just one more thing I have to say, it's been bugging me to this very day.
If the Chicken is a she, why do we keep saying HE?

ERNEST HEMINGWAY: To die in the rain, alone.

GRANDPA: In my day we didn't ask why the chicken crossed the road. Somebody told us the chicken crossed the road, and that was good enough.

BARBARA WALTERS: Isn't that interesting? In a few moments, we will be listening to the chicken tell, for the first time, the heart warming story of how it experienced a serious case of molting, and went on to accomplish its lifelong dream of crossing the road.

ARISTOTLE: It is the nature of chickens to cross the road.

JOHN LENNON: Imagine all the chickens in the world crossing roads together, in peace.

BILL GATES: I have just released eChicken2008, which will not only cross roads, but will lay eggs, file your important documents, and balance your checkbook. Internet Explorer is an integral part of eChicken2008. This new platform is much more stable and will never cras#@&&%%... Must reboot.

ALBERT EINSTEIN: Did the chicken really cross the road, or did the road move beneath the chicken?

COLONEL SANDERS: Did I miss one?

(hat tip to Sharon D.!!)

DEAR AMERICA,

2008-11-05T13:28:00.000-08:00

Here is a song for us today,

MR. PRESIDENT

2008-11-04T21:55:00.000-08:00

(thanks, Google Images)

John McCain delivered a wonderful concession speech, IMO.

Tonight we can rest. Then we have lots of work to do! Though I know my step will be lighter tomorrow.

ONE MORE DAY

2008-11-03T18:08:00.000-08:00

Thanks to Mary Beth for this:

WHERE ARE THEY?

2008-10-30T20:11:00.001-07:00

Revolutionaries and Visionaries. We just don't seem to have them of this caliber any more.

(This is Jean Paul Marat. Image from Wikipedia)

(from Google Images)

(The miraculous Golda Meir. Image from Karyn Markwell.com)

Two things on the news today caught my attention.

One is Governor Schwarzenegger calling back the State Legislature into session next week. He wants re-review the state budget as it seems that big hole of a deficit is lots bigger than anyone thought. The Governor is also calling for a raise in taxes. And though I cannot find it in print, the radio news reporter said (and he was NOT kidding) that the legislators have to go through the budget line by line and cut out more of the fraud. Yes, he said it plain as day "FRAUD". This seems to verify public acceptance of the state government stealing from us. Now the Governor wants to raise our taxes so we can pay for the rest of the FRAUD. Don't get me wrong, everyone in California knows that this has been going on for years and years and years. What's new is that it's talked about in the news as if it's perfectly A-OK and not a prob-lemo.

The other thing that caught my attention is regarding the 700 billion dollar bailout. Apparently Wall Street will be tightening it's belt by cutting traders' and bankers' bonuses. No, not to zero, which is what I was expecting to hear. The two chatty, cheerful newscasters talking about this said that while many jobs will be cut, the high level executives in the companies being bailed out will still be getting their bonuses, though much much smaller. As in, only $600,000 to $800,000 instead of the $1.3 to $1.5 MILLION they usually get. And this is on top of their annual $200,000 salary. Everyone, take a moment to go grab your hankie and join me in a collective *boo hoo*. These bonuses will be paid with your money and my money. The reason? Because, according to the chatty, cheerful news kids, we don't want to lose our Wall Street "talent". Yup. That's exactly what they said. "Talent". That very same Wall Street talent that participated in and helped engineer, with gleeful greed, the scenarios that created the current disaster the economy is now in. Wonderboy would do a better job on Wall Street than these clowns. Where does he line up for HIS bonus? As well as your kids and grandkids?

After hearing these two things I am dumbstruck. Not at the the blatant audacity of the nonchalant reportage. No. I'm dumbstruck because no one has called upon the angry villagers to storm the castle!!

(from Google images)

We seem to have misplaced our collective "throw the scudders out!!" mojo. The only direction I see the anger going in, is dangerously against each other as this election seems to be dividing us.

If only we could bring the likes of the top three back to today. Oh YOO HOO! Dr. Who!!!

THE VET WHO DID NOT VET

2008-10-28T19:49:00.000-07:00

That Dave P. finds the BEST stuff!!! I could not resist one more political post.

THE FAITH TONES

2008-10-25T15:28:00.000-07:00

If you are ever ever down and out as I have been, or maybe worse! Just pop these ladies onto the disk spinner, sit back and prepare yourself for some soothing and uplifting tunes......

One CANNOT stay down in the dumps with such toe tapping songs as

"Baptismal Boogie"

"Swingtime with the Sacraments"

"Holy Hip Hop"

And you'll be so inspired by

"Shielded by Mary's Beehive"

"Jesus Weeps in the Girls Lavatory"

"Jesus is my Prom King"

(UPDATE: How could I ever forget "Lord, Teach Me to Spray"..?? Thanks Barb!!!)

There is a light at the end of every tunnel that is not always a freight train. Why no. Today it's me, being struck by lightening!

(Thanks to the ever resourceful Dave P. for the picture)

REQUIEM FOR JOHN

2008-10-21T13:47:00.000-07:00

John Robert McGraham was doused with a flammable liquid (probably gasoline) and set on fire by a teenaged boy October 9, 2008. One man who was interviewed said he tried to put out the flames, and that John never cried out.

He died from his burns. His Memorial Service on Sunday indicated that he had a loving family who tried to help him with his chronic depression. But no one was ever able to reach him.

This is the worst of recent attacks on the homeless that seem to be escalating all over the country.

I believe there is a correlation to this and the dying of mainline churches. I believe there is a correlation between the dying of common decency in this country and the dying of mainline churches. I believe there is a correlation between the shouts of killing the other party's opponent and the dismissals of the shouts not being "heard" and the dying of mainline churches. I believe there is a correlation between attacks on people's property who display political support signs of the t'other party and the dying of mainline churches. I believe there is a correlation between the acceptance of political candidates lying as normal business as usual and the dying of mainline churches.

And I believe that the death of civil community and the dying of the mainline church is interrelated.

Whoever wins this most contentious election will find it a hard road to reinvigorate civil standards of tolerance, acceptance and community in this country because the major founding base has, IMO, lost its moral compass.

So, for John Robert McGraham, and for the rest of us, I will try to remember to pray for whoever wins. Come what may.

CALLING ALL SWING VOTERS!

2008-10-21T05:38:00.000-07:00

Friend Dave P. (who is an endless wealth of fun resource materials) has found yet another gem. This one is for all you swing voters out there, or those who just enjoy good tunes.

FRIDAY FIVE - COIN TOSS EDITION

2008-10-16T21:33:00.000-07:00

From Songbird this week:

"Well, Gals and Pals, this weekend we'll be rendering unto Caesar what is Caesar's, and that has me thinking about coinage."

Thank you Songbird!! I must say that I do enjoy coins. There is something substantially satisfying about the heft and jingle of coinage. It's accountant's bling. And shiny new coins a'jingling are as fun as Christmas presents! I have faux gold coin earrings and I used to have a favorite belt that was made of faux gold coins. And you can learn a lot about history and politics from the study of ancient coins!

1) When was the last time you flipped a coin or even saw one flipped in person?

It was sometime in the last couple weeks. I love quarters. They are just the perfect flippable weight. When I pick one up I like to flip it. Especially if it's one I found on the ground!

2) Do you have any foreign coins in your house? If so, where are they from?

I have old French coins around from the days before the Euro, when I traveled to Paris on business. Plus a couple Canadian coins that snuck in over my wallet border from some store's cash register. And coins from South of the border. Somewhere. Plus some really cool ancient Roman coins from my dad. D'ya think Caesar's gonna want them back?

3) A penny saved is a penny earned, they say. But let's get serious. Is there a special place in heaven for pennies, or do you think they'll find a special place in, well, the other place?

There will be no need for coins in heaven. All vending machines will provide snacks and beverage simply with a proper prayer. And they've certainly done nothing to merit copper melt down in H*E*double hockey sticks! Their place is in my pennies boxes about the house. Wrapped in 50 cent coin wrappers. Waiting their turn to be sent to Bank Heaven to be transmogrified into paper! I've heard there are plans to do away with the penny! I would be very sad if that were to happen.

4) How much did you get from the tooth fairy when you were a child? and if you have children of your own, do they get coins, or paper money? (I hear there may be some inflation.)

The tooth fairy was really good to me until I was 8 and figured out who it was. I got 50 cents per tooth! In a 50 cent piece. After age 8 and the canines and other teeth came out I got bupkiss. Wonderboy gets a paper buck a tooth. Kids today don't have the same appreciation for precious metals. Maybe it's because coins are mostly faux filled now. We do have a really nifty tooth bank (exactly like the one above) to save his teeth in. We have them all but one so far. He kept taking one of them out to play with and it's decaying somewhere down in the den even as we speak.

5) Did anyone in your household collect the state quarters? And did anyone in your household manage to sustain the interest required to stick with it?

Both Wonderboy and I are collecting these flippable beauties!! I have a special book that details information on each state with the coin's history behind the state's motto and such. Wonderboy has a nice cardboard keepsake that someone gave him as a gift. I'm missing that last three!! Can anyone help??? Kentucky took just forever to get hold of for some reason.

WHAT IF......

2008-10-14T18:17:00.000-07:00

Here's a fun website someone came up with to help us get an idea of...... what if....

Palin were President!

Click on all the stuff in the office to play.

(hat tip to Dave P.)

....just a note, in several part harmony

2008-10-07T09:20:00.000-07:00

Before school conversation:

"Mom! Why are you dressing up more this week?"

"Darling, I feel it's important to accessorize for the apocalypse."

Amen.

DEAR AUNT CRABBY - Agin, the 2nd time

2008-10-05T20:51:00.000-07:00

*Brrrrrrrinnnnnnngggg*

"Well Hi Thar! Y'all have reached Sam! Financial expert and Home Security Consultant. Please speak your piece at the tone"

"Sam, you no good son of a -"

CLICK, "Why Crabby! To what do I owe this dubious honor?"

"I j'es got a letter from our niece, uh, Oh Lordy, what is that girl's name?"

"Cindy?"

"I dunno, she the one what got married in 10th grade?"

"The very one. An they're still happily entwined, I am proud to say."

"Then it's the t'other one. I think the one what has 6 earrings in one ear and a tattoo of Betty Boop on 'er hind parts."

"That's be Gloria."

"OK. Anywho, she's tellin' me some nonsense about Wally and how you done went to the bank and put the whole damned family in hock up to their eyeballs bailin' that boy outta 5 minutes of trouble before he gets back into 10!!! Is this true?"

*throat clearin heard*

"Sam, Sam you there? Oh damn hold on a minute, I jez set Precious on fire."

*Phone drops to floor. Footsteps walk away*

*from a distance Sam hears: "Precious what did I tell you about jumpin' on me when I've just lit my afternoon ceegar? Gracious me, It's a miracle you have any fur left at all!" *footsteps back to phone.

"Sam! You there you thievin coot?"

"Right here my dear Crabby. Y'all still have those 8 cats?"

"More like 18 now. I dunno where in tarnation they come from, but they shore know a sucker for purrin' when they see one! Now, enough pleasantries. I want you to explain to me what on earth you was thinkin' bailin' Wally out. We just don't do that!! Never have. You know he's fulla lies and empty promises these last few years."

"But Crabby, think of all the good years he done right by us. An' besides, if we don't rescue him, nobody will no more, an' all that investment on schoolin' we gave him will go to waste."

"Sam, you idjit!! It's gone to waste now. And you KNOW who everbody's gonna come to when the manure hits the combine! You know it'll be me they cry to. An' what the hell am I supposed to do?"

"You still got all them mattresses darlin?"

"Who tole you 'bout that? Who? I want names now. Somebody's gonna get hurt."

"Don't matter, Crabby. But you know you got plenty a dough to help out now. No way you're gonna spend all the money in yore liftime."

"That is NOT for you to decide. Since when do you get off your high horse and put the family in debt without permission, then decide that my hard earned savins' is what'll bail all your'ins hides out!!!! This is just wrong. I've a mind to come down there this very minute with my shotgun and teach you a lesson in manners!!"

"Crabby, Crabby, Crabby. J'es calm down now. It ain't like you're gonna run outta money for ceegars and cat food. It's j'es a little bit."

"How much?"

"How much what?"

"How much we talkin' about here, Sam?"

"Well, I don't rightly know."

"Then how in HELL can you say I won't go broke bailin' our kin out? Huh? I'd like ta know that."

"I've almost never been wrong before now. So you have ta listen ta me."

"Do not. You have done gone and lost your mind along with your good sense and decency. I will not be picking this phone up or answering my door ever agin now. So do not try to lay this on my doorstep, you ole thieven, lyin' coot!"

*Click* *Dialtone*

*to himself* "Yeah, Crabby, we'll see about that'n, yes we will."

*Sam rubs neck of purring white Persian cat*

DEAR AUNT CRABBY

2008-10-04T08:11:00.000-07:00

Dear Aunt Crabby,

Thank you for the big ole box of Russell Stover chocolates for my birthday! You do remember my birthday isn't till next spring? Still, thanks awful much for the thoughtful gift. The card was funny too. I really like the way you crossed out "Get Well" and wrote in "Happy Birthday". The proctology joke played much better as a birthday joke.

I have so much news for you here. Hang onto your hat! (Do you still have that lovely straw number with the giant pink chrysanthemums?) Remember Cousin Wally? The one who ran off to New York to become a big Broadway star? After emptying out his mama's (Aunt Lettie) wallet? Then he ended up selling Amway in Hoboken? Well after all these years, he came back to town and you will just never guess what he did.

Cousin Wally robbed all the banks in town. Ever single one of 'em. I kid you not. His scheme was so slick 'n all that not only did all of us know that he was the one what did it, he did it so slick that he persuaded us the banks had done give him all their money voluntarily! No lie. You remember what a fast talker he was! Now just when the sheriff started to poke around and ask questions, such as "Wally? Where'd all that money go what the banks gave you?", then Wally decided to get outta town.

Now here's the part that's just so unbelievable. His car broke down! He could not get outta town. And just when all of us family and townfolk were startin' to figger out what Wally'd done, he pulled his big baby act and actually got ever one of us to feel sorry for him. Though we still didn't wanna give him any money to fix his durn car.

Then Uncle Sam, you remember him? He's the one with two bad legs cain't walk any more? He gits all of us family together and says that if we don't help Wally then the sheriff will arrest all of us and ruin our family with shame, because we are accessories!!! Can you beat that? He as much as said I was Wally's big dangly earrings!!! But Uncle Sam usually never steers us wrong. Well, maybe 'cept for the time he talked us into buying into that greasy spoon out on the interstate that ended up poison'n most of the customers from the put up tomaters from last year.

Anyway! Uncle Sam went down to the bank. Our bank. What had no cash left from Wally stealing most of it. And he got this big ole loan. Said that we had all OK'd it. It was a big enough loan to buy Wally a new car, new suit, new shoes, new Corinthian leather wallet and pocket cash to get back to New York City! Without no guarantee of having to pay any of it back. Jus' a promise. An' you know what a promise from Wally is worth.

Now we are all stuck payin' this loan back. Trouble is, we all lost our jobs this year since the Panty Factory outsourced all its labor to China and the customer service to Pakistan.

Anywho. I am writing now to thank you for the birthday gift and to ask if you could float us a little cash 'till all our government benefits kick in. We're low on milk and eggs.

Oh and here's another funny story I almost forgot! Remember the bank where Uncle Sam borrowed the money for Wally? The one that had no money either? It had to borrow the money all the way from China!!! Ain't that somethin' now. So now China is holdin' all the paper on our houses!!! Sure 'a hopin they don't get a hankerin' for living here in our town! We'd be sore outta luck then.

Anyway, any help you can send our way is always appreciated. And I surely hope your rash is cleared up.

Cordially, with affection,

Your lovin' niece

ACCURATE PROPHECY FROM 1969

2008-10-03T10:08:00.000-07:00

Here it is, from 1969. A motion picture depiction of the 2008 Bail-Out proposal now in the House of Representatives to be voted upon!!! From a British point of view. With Peter Sellers as Hank Paulson and Ringo Starr as Ben Bernanke.

The sixties. So prescient.

CHAIN CHAIN CHAIN

2008-10-01T20:30:00.000-07:00

I know we have to start doing SOMETHING. I suspect the House will follow suit tomorrow or Friday.

I still can't help feeling as if my family and I have been sold into, well at best indentured servitude if not out and out slavery.

From the only one on earth who can deliver this timely lament properly -

KATHY

2008-09-30T08:15:00.000-07:00

Kathy passed to Glory on the 28th.

Here she is with her family four days before,

Because so many of you graciously prayed with me for her and her family, I share Jim's note with you here:

Dear Family and Friends,

Thank you for your warm thoughts and prayers. I must tell you that at around 3:45 p.m. this afternoon Kathy Meyer passed away. She had 5 close friends and our family of Tim, Ame and grandson Shawn with is. As the time got short the pastor came and he and I did the Commendation of the Dying service. It was a very tearful service. Kathy, whose eyes had turned up and breathing labored also teared up. I dried them as I dried my own while saying the prayers. Then she turned her eyes and focused them on me and as we finished the Lord's prayer she stopped breathing.

It took us all by surprise. I thought we would have a few more days, but the hours turned to minutes and then our breaths stopped; and all started again, but one.
I am sore and tired and I will send later notice when the memorial service will be.

God Bless you and good night.

In The Rest And Peace of Our Lord,

Jim

DEAR NELL,

2008-09-27T19:00:00.000-07:00

Dear Nell,

I am so sorry for your loss. I lost my own dad two years ago this month so I have an idea what you might be feeling.

What an extraordinary man he was and what profound and lasting good he's done in this world. And he was a pretty amazing dad too.

May he rest in peace and may you and your family feel the outpouring of love and blessings from around the world this day.

Love,

BLOG AWARD

2008-09-27T10:43:00.000-07:00

I got this today from Ruth, whose blog I enjoy and admire in reciprocation.

Thank you very much. I get to give this to five of my favorites which include, but are not all:

1. Jan Edmiston at A Church for Starving Artists
For working so hard to move a real church in a real time.

2. Gannet Girl at Search the Sea
For brilliance and openness with such bravery under fire.

3. Kievas at Sharing a Journey
For pureness of heart and a fascinating point of view.

4. PureChristianIThink at Rebel Without a Pew
For humor in trying circumstances and courage in keepin' on.

and a new one:

5. A.K. Muckracker at The Mudflats
For bravery and diligence in bringing the whole story in profoundly dishonest times.

HEY!!! REMEMBER THIS???

2008-09-25T19:57:00.000-07:00

This one is Gustav. Ike was his fraternal twin this year. Remember them?

Gustav did this:

And Ike did this:

My friend Quotidian Grace in Houston, reports that power and water is still not fully restored there. And friend Bayou Christian reports about and has pictures of the flooding, cleanup and continued hard relief work that will be going on in Thibodaux, Louisiana.

And yet the news speaks nearly naught of any of these post hurricane disaster efforts. Though the people affected will be impacted, as with Katrina, for years to come.

So I'm posting about it today, because here's what my mom and I are doing this week:

We're making our clean up bucket as requested by Presbyterian Disaster Assistance. They need Clean-Up, Hygiene and School buckets and kits!! Go to the list for Clean Up Items. We fit ALL of those items into the 5 gallon bucket.

It took three trips to different stores to find everything. Without packing and shipping it cost about$100 a bucket. If a high end item was on sale I got it, otherwise I chose the good stuff over the sale stuff. And at the checkout stand I made sure to talk up what I was doing. Three people wrote down the website.

You can do it too! If a whole bucket is too pricey, you can get several friends to pitch in to make a bucket or hygiene or school kit.

I am wondering if this is not on the news much because of FEMA. See, it's likely any money FEMA spends on disaster relief comes from the government, who has to borrow it. And with all the other goings on, banks aren't lending to anyone right now. Just wondering.

Won't you join me in "Kicking the Bucket All the Way to Texas and Louisiana".

NEW GAME SHOW AND WE ARE THE SPONSORS!!!

2008-09-24T16:29:00.000-07:00

This will only take 5 minutes.

Go Marcy!!!!

Hat tip to FranIAm

700 BILLION QUESTIONS

2008-09-24T09:38:00.000-07:00

Christopher Dodd has asked some good questions of Paulsen and Bernanke:

I have a few more,

~The government does not have 700 billion in cash available, considering the national debit and it's enormous increase the last 8 years. This money will have to be borrowed. Who will the government borrow this money from?

~How much will the interest expense be on the 700 billion borrowed to service the bailout loan?

~How much of that 700 billion bailout will be spent on executives parachute payments? (as in, the contracted amount due to an exiting executive. These days parachutes are paid regardless of an executives actual performance in a company. Ethical or not)

~Paulsen and Bernanke claim that congress must approve this bailout to avoid an economic disaster. What do they call this situation we're now in?

~Will this bailout cover the bad mortgages written by foreign banks, central and private? Would those bad debt bailouts on foreign banks include bad mortgages made in other countries?

~Henry Paulsen is Secretary of Treasury. Bernanke is the new head of the Fed, replacing Alan Greenspan. These men and their predecessors are supposed to be very smart with economics. So are their predecessors. If they are so damned smart about economics how is it that they did NOT see this coming? My dad, deceased two years now, saw this coming years ago. Smart as HE was, he was not an economist. Given this question, I suggest that not only did these so called experts see this coming, but they stood by silently and somehow, somewhere have or will profit from it. Which leads me to - Why should we listen to them now?

~This is an "unreviewable bailout", which means there will be no transparency on how the money will be doled out. As a citizen and expected contributor of this bailout, I demand an audit of any monies paid out - bailout or other. Would you want an audit? If there are enough of us, we could organize a class action and get one.

Here's another angle on this mess regarding personal credit and ethics:

Let me get this straight: Nobody broke any laws in foisting this debt on the public. Companies, their shareholders and executives have all been laughing all the way to the bank with their profits and salaries while the debt load of the American public was unethically, but not illegally, pushed to 970 billion.

Now Paulsen and Bernanke want to not only add 700 billion to the 970 billion of Americans' personal debt, they want Congress to give the Fed (Bernanke) FULL regulatory reign over the banking and insurance industries as well as all of Wall Street. If they get this, then you and I will have to bail the country out as well as completely submit to the fiscal vagaries of Bernanke and their Board of Governors who are made up of the wealthiest people in this country (who have already PROFITED from what has created this mess) and how they run our markets. I, for one, do not want that.

I am contacting my congressman today to urge him to FIND ANOTHER WAY. Our system of Capitalism is gone. Free markets are pretty well gone as well. If you and I do not work to educate ourselves on this nasty web of "spun" lies then our children and grandchildren will have to shoulder all this, soon to be trillions of dollars of debt for generations to come.

For the brilliant and quick cartoon version of all this, go see Mock Paper Scissors

NEED SOME LAUGHS

2008-09-23T14:05:00.000-07:00

Hat tip to Sharon. If you haven't visited failblog.org you are in for a very funny treat. Here are some samples:

see more pwn and owned pictures

see more pwn and owned pictures

see more pwn and owned pictures

NOW I GET IT

2008-09-23T08:58:00.000-07:00

Back in March I noticed this. Bush presented a proposal to bring the banking, insurance and stock market under the regulatory control of the Fed. Congress did not pass this.

Bush leaves office very soon. I picture him at his desk, sitting across from Cheney. Both men tapping their pencils and feet in agitated annoyance.

You all know what's happened in the markets lately. Now the Secretary of the Treasury, Henry Paulson, says "more is needed".

It seems that Bush will very likely get his way after all. And we will have King Bernanke with his 12 Federal Reserve Bank arms to watch and regulate how we make our money and spend our money.

Crackpot theory #923 - it really might not matter WHO is elected president when this happens. This will change the fabric of the country permanently and mark the end of free enterprise.

CHRISTIAN SONGS FOR TODAY'S TIMES

2008-09-21T12:38:00.000-07:00

He knows my name

Let the whole creation cry

All creatures of our God and King

Wind who makes all winds

Here, O Lord, your servants gather

It only takes a spark

to get a fire going.....

Awake, arise, O sing a new song

TIME TO BUY MORE MATTRESSES

2008-09-20T10:18:00.000-07:00

more animals

This little fellow was prepared for the economic roller-coaster this week.

Fortunately we were too. But only because a friend's colleague (economics professor) predicted the very events of last week about 4 or 5 months ago. And we heeded.

But most people haven't.

I find the timing of all these financial disasters (mortgage industry, banks and investment house failures, job loss due to overseas relocations, etc) to be curiously coincidental with the decade where baby boomers will be inheriting a good bit of wealth. Well, NOW: or not.

Juxtaposed with the recent spate of natural calamity, I don't believe it's going to get better soon. In fact it looks like we're probably headed for a long time of this:

(thank you Google Images)

Unless.......unless, and I'd say it looks doubtful, unless we, the peeps, start putting our grass roots heads together and taking back our lives. It can be done. Mustard seeds and mountains and all that.

Just sayin'.

PRAYERS FOR KATHY AND JIM

2008-09-17T11:31:00.000-07:00

Kathy is dying.

Here is part of Jim's e-mail that I received this morning:

"Kathy has started with Hospice. We had two doctors, a nurse and social worker here the other day. The doctor asked Kathy to tell in her own words the history of her disease. He read silently along with hearing her statement the medical report . When Kathy had come to the end of her story, Dr. asked if we had any questions. We had only a few. then he asked if we would like to hear the statistics of life expectancy for this kind of Gallbladder cancer and Liver cancer disease. I looked to Kathy, for it was her decision if she were ready to hear such news. She nodded her head and said yes. Dr. examined Kathy and found her stomach extended and hard with tumors and her ankles and feet swollen. She is still yellow with Jaundice and he learned that she sleeps 18 - 20- hours a day. He said that is normal as the body is exhausted with fighting the disease and is weakened. After his examination he told us that Kathy has in the neighborhood of 2 months, 3, maybe 4, give or take. You could have heard a pin drop with the long silence.

Kathy and I had heard bits and peices in the hospital about her condition. We knew it was terminal but it was a relief and a shock again when Dr. put some flesh to the prospects. We now have work to do both together and apart. Our relationship is beautiful and loving. We are in this together and with God's strength we will see it through. It is hard to think of being alone, one without the other and sometimes I just can't go there."

Please send a prayer Jim and Kathy's way. And if you leave a comment here, I will forward this post to Kathy's e-mail so she can read how much love left in the world came to say "hey" to her. Thanks.

LATEST FROM ALASKA

2008-09-14T12:58:00.000-07:00

Apparently a number of Alaskans do not feel that their governor represents them. What this writer describes as "the biggest political rally ever in the history of the state" seems to have been organized by a group of women over coffee. Perhaps a group of "community organizer" types. And you know how much trouble they can be now!

Also Les Gara, the Democratic State Representative from Anchorage, who states that he likes Ms. Palin, has observations on what McCain's choice and campaign staff has done in Alaska here.

(Both links are from Mudflats)

VOLUNTEER OR UNPAID EMPLOYEE??

2008-09-14T07:11:00.000-07:00

Yesterday I received a 8-1/2 x 11 manila envelope from Upscale Church where Wonderboy is still singing in the children's choir. Inside was a booklet entitled "Be Christ's Hands at 'Upscale Church'".

It listed approximately 80 volunteer opportunities, some of which include the formerly paid staff positions now empty after a large portion of the staff was fired due to inability to meet the monthly operating budget.

All the "positions" were listed in this order: Job Description, Time Commitment and Skills Needed.

Many of the "volunteer positions" listed require that an application be filled out and a background check be performed. (PS I forgot to add that a minimum of one year's membership in good standing is also a "job requirement" to volunteer)

Is this the upscale version of the emerging church? Yikes! is all I can say.

FRIDAY FIVE: BACK TO SCHOOL

2008-09-11T21:20:00.000-07:00

Mother Laura writes this week: "It's time for a Back-To-School Friday Five!"

1. Is anyone going back to school, as a student or teacher, at your house? How's it going so far?

Wonderboy started his new school September 4th. He is loving it! He comes home happy and excited and gets his homework done all by himself. Well, since the teacher actually teaches him the material *ahem* unlike last year, it makes all the diff!

The extra driving and starting 1/2 hour early, however, has shrunk my day to the size of a pea.

2. Were you glad or sad when back-to-school time came as a kid?

I was never glad to go back to school. I loved getting the new clothes and the school supplies. But *did*not*like*school. It bored me to tears.

3. Did your family of origin have any rituals to mark this time of year? How about now?

Twice a year, August and December, before each new semester, my mom took me shopping for my school clothes. I got to pick out whatever I wanted to wear. She never said a word, God bless her, because I know it must have been hard. When I was in junior and senior high, she would take me to the grown up store, called Mickey Fine's. These are special memories I have with my mom. I even remember some of the sharp looking outfits I picked out there.

4. Favorite memories of back-to-school outfits, lunchboxes, etc?

I liked to buy mix and match skirts and tops outfits. I remember one navy blue straight skirt that had a sleeveless matching top with red piping. I outgrew the top (not the way you'd think.....I come from a long line of lady linebackers with built in shoulder pads), but the skirt fit like a glove and I wore it for two years.

The only lunchbox I remember was a red plaid lunchbox (that looked exactly like this one from Google Images)

that I think I had in first grade. I can still remember how the bologna sandwiches smelled when I took them out (before the days of those little freezer cooler thingies). I'm amazed now that we never got sick from half day warmed mayo. And the thermos! Sometimes my mom would surprise me with chocolate milk! Lunch was my favorite class!

5. What was your best year of school?

School didn't work so well for me. I was skipped twice and even then was bored and under-challenged. When I finally found Drama and Play Production things perked up a little. But the teachers picked such lame plays. In Junior High I was hell on wheels for my mom. I've since apologized. And now understand all the reasons it went the way it did. In my 2-1/2 years of High School I had far more fun after school than during. And still graduated with honors in the top 10 percent! Almost never did homework. Did it all during class.

A.A.A.D.D.

2008-09-10T13:31:00.000-07:00

I was sent this in an e-mail today by a concerned friend who suggests I see a doctor about:
Age Activated Attention Deficit Disorder
I swear I have no idea what she's talking about.

This is how it manifests:

I decide to water my garden.
As I turn on the hose in the driveway,
I look over at my car and decide it needs washing.
As I start toward the garage, I notice mail on the porch table that
I brought up from the mail box earlier.
I decide to go through the mail before I wash the car.
I lay my car keys on the table, put the junk mail in the garbage can under the table,
and notice that the can is full. So, I decide to put the bills back
on the table and take out the garbage first.
But then I think, since I'm going to be near the mailbox
when I take out the garbage anyway, I may as well pay the bills first.
I take my check book off the table, and see that there is only one check left.
My extra checks are in my desk in the study, so I go inside the house to my desk where
I find the can of Coke I'd been drinking. I'm going to look for my checks,
but first I need to push the Coke aside so that I don't accidentally knock it over.
The Coke is getting warm, and I decide to put it in the refrigerator to keep it cold.
As I head toward the kitchen with the Coke, a vase of flowers on the counter
catches my eye--they need water.
I put the Coke on the counter and discover my reading glasses that
I've been searching for all morning. I decide I better put them back on my desk,
but first I'm going to water the flowers. I set the glasses back down on the counter,
fill a container with water and suddenly spot the TV remote. Some one left it on the kitchen table.
I realize that tonight when we go to watch TV,
I'll be looking for the remote, but I won't remember that it's on the kitchen table,
so I decide to put it back in the den where it belongs,
but first I'll water the flowers. I pour some water in the flowers,
but quite a bit of it spills on the floor. So, I set the remote back on the table,
get some towels and wipe up the spill. Then, I head down the hall trying to
remember what I was planning to do.

At the end of the day:
the car isn't washed
the bills aren't paid
there is a warm can of Coke sitting on the counter
the flowers don't have enough water,
there is still only 1 check in my check book,
I can't find the remote,
I can't find my glasses, and I don't remember what I did with the car keys.
Then, when I try to figure out why nothing got done today,
I'm really baffled because I know
I was busy all day,
and I'm really tired.
I realize this is a serious problem,
and I'll try to get some help for it,
but first I'll check my e-mail....

Now I know this is not correct because anyone who knows me knows that I have a set of reading glasses in every room, three in my office and one in my purse! So there!

(hat tip to Sharon, wonderful Mom of Wonderboy's new BFF from new school)

PEACE DAY SEPTEMBER 21

2008-09-09T06:30:00.000-07:00

Here is someone who, along with others, is doing something very positive.

International Day of Peace

Peace One Day

I've marked my calendar and am thinking of what to do. Will you join me?

DON'T VOTE FOR GARNER ST. JOHN!!

2008-09-08T07:19:00.000-07:00

If you think Palin's a poor choice,

I offer you this poor excuse for a candidate's website.

Here are outtakes from his campaign video that tell the real story:

(Note this is a satiric website created by one of my former Improv classmates. One of the more brilliant Improv classmates. The one I am wondering who did not call me to be part of this satiric website..........)

That'll Teach Me to Look Stuff Up......

2008-09-07T21:16:00.000-07:00

I had such a good idea for a post, courtesy of Wonderboy's dad. I was going to write about the political button of "oil", offshore drilling and ANWR. This was going to be based on the question: Would America actually get that oil, if the offshore and ANWR drilling happens? Or would it be put up for sale to the highest bidder? I have not been able to find any evidence that America owns anything but a small portion of the oil rights in ANWR. Even then, there's no guarantee the government wouldn't sell it elsewhere.

I am not an expert in any of this. Here are two of the more reasonable sites I found that distracted me from the above.

Peak Oil: The End of the Oil Age

APSO, a group of scientists share their studies on oil

According to the projections on Peak Oil and the projections on demand far outstripping the rapidly dwindling supply, we just do not have time to implement sustainable alternatives. Apparently it just isn't gonna happen.

Our food supply is dependent on petrochemicals and petroleum based fertilizer. Organic farming requires a much larger amount of arable land than would be able to supply the exponentially growing population. No petroleum, no dinner.

The materials required to create the alternatives of solar panels, windmills and such require machinery that runs on *petroleum*; and is made of precious metals, the supply of which is also dwindling rapidly. Metals that are mined with equipment that is manufactured with and run on *petroleum*.

Ethanol based products would not even make a dent in the problem and the creation of the ethanols is now part of what is destroying the rain forest. I read other articles that said the amount of grain it takes for one fill-up of an SUV would feed a family of five for more than a month.

While scaring the bejabbers outta me, these things also help distract me from worrying about the election so much. You can read yourself where it gets into the likely wars and famine and police states and end of general fun everywhere. That was more than I could take tonight.

It was profoundly naive of me to think that all we need is a do-over and change from petroleum to alternatives. But our products, medicines, economy and jobs are dependent on the black goo. We eat it, drink it, work for it, turn on lights because of it, wear it, go places on it, and a lot of it we use once and throw away. It's like we're all covered in a global oil slick.

I have to think that there is a way to change this. But we have to start now. We have to organize. We have to pull together. Maybe create some kind of life manual that will start to turn this around as the fecal material hits the oscillating rotor. I will look around for organizations already set up. The ones I found tonight just wanted signatures on petitions. And money. I'm talking about organizations that give ideas and procedures and new ways to do things we do every day that will move us in the right direction. If you know any, please leave them in the comments.

Things like growing our own vegetables in our yards. Wearing clothes until they are actually dirty, instead of just once. Going back to candle light when bright light is not needed. Get medieval with ourselves on our consumption of everything. Starting now.

Wonderboy and I watch Project Earth on Discovery. There are some very bright people out there working on a lot of things to help. It's you and I who have to start doing something right now. This second. Every choice we make from here out apparently has far wider consequences than we can imagine.

Including who we elect this November. IMO, more of the same is just gonna dig us deeper the wrong way. (not-so-subtle political plug)

Meanwhile we need a catchy slogan. Anybody got any ideas?

PRESBY POLITICS

2008-09-06T10:43:00.000-07:00

Now for a break from the US political circus, I will shift to a Presbyterian political plug.

Blog Pal Robert Austell was at the PCUSA General Assembly this past June where he wrote a resolution that was passed overwhelmingly. This resolution calls for presbyteries to create a gracious process when a church seeks to break away. His points for this are outlined in his post. I urge my fellow Presbyterians who read my blog to read it here because it is really good, IMO. Especially the part about the impact on public witness.

It is a good and positive thing Rev. Austell has accomplished and I wanted to share it today in the midst of so much national political tsuris.

I return you now to our regularly scheduled program.

Just Sayin'

2008-09-03T20:29:00.000-07:00

RODENT CONSCIOUSNESS

2008-09-02T09:24:00.000-07:00

The guinea pig is sick. All the hair on the back half of her body is gone. Either ringworm or something else. She's not eating so much and is lethargic. Gonna call the vet first thing this morning.

TJ the hamster died after only 3 weeks with us. Now Curly is sick.

Maybe some people should just stick to one kind of pet. Cats work for me because they practice such diligent self care. All I have to do is put out food and clean the litterbox. The only sacrifice is smooth upholstery. Playing with them and loving them up is easy.

I thought it was easy with Curly as well. Now I feel like such a failure.

School starts this week and I refuse to allow this to foreshadow it. I insist on a brilliant and positive year this year. And I shall take my cleansing breaths this morning and transform rodent consciousness into a sunburst crown of positive light.

That and maybe two cups of coffee this morning.

UPDATE: CURLY HAS MITES! LITTLE CREEPY UGH-Y CREATURES THAT ARE MAKING HER HAIR FALL OUT. SHE GOT A SHOT. NEEDS THREE MORE OVER THE NEXT FOUR WEEKS. $73 PLUS DOLLARS LATER AND A CLEANED OUT CAGE AND I'M KA-CHINGED OUT!!

OBVIOUS vs OBLIVIOUS

2008-09-01T11:28:00.000-07:00

Issues

Lack of vetting (thank you Cathy), with, among other questions, a cloud of investigation on ethics after a campaign based on ethics.

Lack of experience

13 years of "elected experience" consisting of 1.5 years as Governor of Alaska, 6 years as Mayor of Wasilla AK with a population less than 8,000 during which she fired the police chief for not supporting her political campaign, before that 4 years on the city council of Wasilla.

No doubt she's a "go-getter". No doubt she's ambitious. Nothing wrong with those two things. It's just all the other things that don't add up.

Hurricane Gustav

2008-09-01T10:57:00.000-07:00

Praying for friends

FRIDAY FIVE: When is the Fourth Friday not the Last Friday?

2008-08-22T11:05:00.000-07:00

Songbird writes today:

"It's Friday afternoon, Eastern Time, and this is your faithful Songbird with a calendar-related Friday Five. Due to some confusion with our dates, I'm stepping in today, although I am usually here only on the 5th Friday, when there is such a thing.

Here are five things to ponder about dates. I hope you'll play!"

1) Datebooks--how do you keep track of your appointments? Electronically? On paper? Month at a glance? Week at a glance?

I have a brown leather-bound Scully organizer. (PS It is "Week At A Glance...any more than that tempts neural overload!) I call it my brain, as Lord knows I am no longer capable of organically remembering in a reliable fashion. I write in pencil as there will be erasure! Much erasure! And changing. I am currently updating the address portion, which I do in ink and with white out handy to obliterate no longer needed information. I have thought of going electronic. But I have delete-ophobia, an irrational fear of inadvertently pressing the delete button. As well as dead-battery-ophobia, the irrational fear of losing power just when something crucial needs recording.

2) When was the last time you forgot an important date?

Today? I always forget dates. That's why I must have my brown leather brain with me. And even then I might forget.

3) When was the last time you went OUT on a date?

Oh, this is just so sad. Probably nine years ago. Maybe more. Unless you count company functions. Then last year's "Meet the Robinson's" wrap party.

4) Name one accessory or item of clothing you love even though it is dated.

I have a black cotton turtleneck shirt that I got from the Limited. In the 80's. It has shoulder pads. Even so, when I wear it with jeans or a skirt, it just looks so very nice. And it's comfy. So I still wear it. Even though when passing a park or sports field, a young man will go long to pass me a football.

5) Dates--the fruit--can't live with 'em? Or can't live without 'em?

I would be able to live in either universe and still feel equal opportunity for happiness.

CRENSHAW'S GOLD

2008-08-20T10:11:00.000-07:00

(for PresbyG who won the Guessing Contest!)

On a very warm Wednesday night
not so very long ago
The Crab Shack down Baltimore way
bore witness to
an event of such magnitude
such world altering importance
that if it were on a grander scale
you would have heard tell of it.

His name was Crenshaw, yes it was
and he was born of the sea
Had only reached his teenaged years
when he was plucked,
trapped and taken to the Crab Shack
shackled by rubber bandage
causing his poor old mama, when she knew,
to weep rivers and buckets of tears.

They plopped him into a glass tank
Yes they did. A see thru one
Right in the middle of the Crab Shack
where folks stared
with their round hungry eyes
pointing with their bandless fingers
choosing who would be next for
the boiling pot of death attack!

Crenshaw was brilliant and strong
and not to be fooled
by the Crab Shack’s hungry mob
so he practiced.
Every night after lights out
He swam, and swam, in spite of bands
and then practiced his jumps
you could only call a reverse dive

And he waited.
For opportunity
Golden

And it came.

On a very warm Wednesday night
even less a time ago
The Crab Shack down Baltimore way
bore witness to
Crenshaw the strongest crab ever's
escape from death by menu
by an amazing leap of courage
and lightening like run to the quay!

Shocked customers and Bill the owner
watched in amazement and awe,
Crenshaw mirroring Phelps up on the big screen
swim to the tank’s bottom,
shoot up like a speeding sky rocket
Fly spinning outta that tank of doom
Land on the sawdust covered floor
and make a run for it as ladies screamed!

Crenshaw ran through the customers,
sideways, as crabs do
Out the door and then stopped to sniff
which way to the sea
Bearing’s got, skittered faster than
Angelo Taylor, jumping street hurdles
miraculously avoiding cars
trucks and pedestrian feet

The Crab Shack customers followed
not believing their eyes
watching Crenshaw’s life saving run
to the quay!
At last standing on the edge
Crenshaw turned to face the large crowd
Freed his bands on a nail
and waved, snapping, “Buh Bye now”

Bill took off his skipper’s cap
held it close to his chest
“That crab there was obviously not
mean to be dinner.
On this Olympic night, this crab is a winner!”
The crowd murmured agreement
As Crenshaw sank to the bottom
Where his mama waited.

On a very warm Wednesday night
not so very long ago
The Crab Shack down Baltimore way
bore witness to
an event of such magnitude
such world altering importance
that if it were on a grander scale
you would have heard tell of it.

FRIDAY FIVE - FALL TRANSFORMATIONS

2008-08-15T10:41:00.000-07:00

From Mary Beth, who has lately been traveling everywhere (except HERE, hint hint) for blogger meetups:

" in my neck of the woods, rain is falling...a little uncharacteristic for August, but most welcome! It'll be hot and humid later, but a break in the heat is most welcome.

Also falling (especially into my driveway) are the fruits of the bois d'arc tree (also known as the Osage Orange). We call them "bowdarks" and enjoy bowling them down the driveway to the empty lot across the street. (Yes, I may be a redneck...)

Bois d'arc fruits are used only for: 1) making more trees and 2) eating by squirrels (if you have another use, please let me know!)

The wood of the bois d'arc tree, however, is very hard and very beautiful, and makes gorgeous items like the vase above. Such a lovely thing, from such an odd-looking source!

For this Friday's Five, share with us five transformations that the coming fall will bring your way.

Bonus: Give us your favorite activity that is made possible by the arrival of fall."

Fall is, hands down, my FAVORITE season. Which may strike some of you as odd because I live in California where it is suggested that there are no seasons. This accusation does hold some merit, I will allow. Even so, I love fall. Because.....

1. It holds the promise of renewal in all things. When I was in school, a new school year suggested that maybe this year I would find myself and a new and happier path. Now it does the same for me through my son's school. This year in particular, starting a new school where we have already been blessed with good friends.

2. Plaid skirts and crew neck sweaters. I don't have a lot of these. I may get more this year or sew more! Now that I am morphing more into a skirt wearing size. It's a superficial thing that makes me feel warm and cosseted as I go through a fall day.

3. HALLOWEEN!!!! I love Halloween. A chance to be someone else and play! If I can, I will dress up too. Unless the boys in the house will be too embarrassed. We've enjoyed some great Halloween parties here when Wonderboy was younger. My favorite costume was Sitcom Mom. The funniest part was the number of people who did not realize I was wearing a costume and told me how nice I looked!

4. Crisp weather. We don't get New England crisp, which I would far more enjoy. Even so, the mornings and evenings have a really nice smell. And being California, it's still not too hot and not too cold, but still enough to wear a pretty sweater. The air is sweeter and cleaner which is refreshing in itself.

5. School supplies. I have two favorite types of stores. One is the office supply store. Now that I have a school aged child (which I had never anticipated in my wildest dreams), we get to buy trim and lovely new school supplies each fall! I am so happy when that list arrives in the mailbox. I bundle WB into the car and we go to Office Depot where they have nicely arranged bins of lovely school things. This year he gets to have a zippered three ring binder! And we found a very cool pencil pouch to go with it that has a built in three hole punch! He loves it too. He has the coolest little pencil sharpener. It looks like a lava lamp. And of course, while there, I take advantage of the sale prices on wonderful organizer things. My office is humming with efficiency now!

Bonus: Jumping in piles of leaves, because there's no other time of year there are that many leaves around. A playground gift from the Earth. (this is WB's answer because I don't have one!)

MICHELANGELO GOES HOME

2008-08-13T17:14:00.001-07:00

After a two year visit to the United States, Michelangelo's David goes home to Italy

His proud sponsors were ~

(hat tip to Dave Pruiksma)

BOOK REVIEW - The Shack

2008-08-09T14:26:00.000-07:00

I have finished reading "The Shack". If you want to read it, pass this by because there will be spoilers!

*taps fingers on desk while spoiler avoiders leave*

My mom read this book twice because she loved it. I can see why. Though I will not be reading it twice.

It's about a man who is given a great opportunity to redeem himself and his faith by coming to terms with the kidnapping and murder of his young daughter. He goes back to the "shack" where this happened to spend the weekend with God, Jesus and the Holy Spirit who minister to him through this process.

While I found shortcomings in the writing and some of the story structure, it is a profoundly powerful and moving story that goes outside the box in applying God's redeeming grace and the power of forgiveness in a truly heinous circumstance. And forgiveness in terms of our real lives. Today.

A lot of the "outside the box" thinking in this book are ideas I've come to embrace myself. In that, I appreciated reading what I've come to believe in someone else's story. The idea of how to live in relationship with God and our fellow persons is something I've not found taught, practiced or modeled in any church I've been in of recent years. Especially in terms of modern logistics. The "ideas" are propounded, sure, but any "connections" are contrived and superficial. Which leads me to believe I haven't found "church" yet, and creating it in the life around me may be the only ticket left. And maybe that is exactly what God wants us to do now. Can't say for everybody. Just noodlin' here. Anyway, this book suggests that it is through living in relationship with God and others that creates church.

There was another aspect of this book I found extremely interesting and provocative. The trinity in this story talked about God's desire to live indwelt in each of us and how that submission to the indwelling on our part will make us the most of who we were created to be. This struck me as oddly parasitic. It's a concept I still want to work through as I find it somewhat disturbing and contradictory to my understanding of free will. Something, though not exactly, like a reverse vampire story. Though there is a logic there I want to pursue.

I did not agree with some of the theology in the book. I will be interested to read what any of you pastors or Bible scholars who have read this book have to say.

All in all, it was a powerful, moving and thought provoking book. I highly recommend it.

FRIDAY FIVE - GOD DAYS OF SUMMER

2008-08-07T21:56:00.000-07:00

I have the honor of doing the Friday Five this week! Here goes:

It’s August. An oppressively hot and humid month where many of us live.

I remember the Al Pacino movie though not much about the plot. Just that it was very, very hot. And he had giant sweat stains on his shirt.

As I pass through this year’s dog days in my felon ridden neighborhood (OK, just two housefuls. But isn’t that enough?), I am trying to focus on the blessings apparent around me, past and present, that I might not notice, necessarily. In that spirit, this week’s Friday Five goes thusly:

1. What is your sweetest summer memory from childhood? Did it involve watermelon or hand cranked ice cream? Or perhaps a teen summer romance. Which stands out for you?

This is what our 2nd Corona looked like. The one we went to beach in was red. Same model.

My mom was the only one in our neighborhood who would take us all to the beach. She would load as many kids as would fit in our little Toyota Corona and chug on down to Paradise Cove (years and years before it became exclusive with $20 a day parking). While at the beach, she would teach us all how to swim in the ocean and body surf. My BFF Michele used to yell out at her, worried that she was swimming out too far. My mama was Adventure Woman for sure. Another adventure was having a flat tire in the middle of Malibu Canyon. A nice man pulled over and changed the tire for us. Nowadays, if anyone stopped before AAA got there, we'd have to pull out the pepper spray and chase him away!

2. Describe your all time favorite piece of summer clothing. The one thing you could put on in the summer that would seem to insure a cooler, more excellent day.

I don't have a particular one, but I feel in my element wearing a swimsuit and a comfy white terry cloth swim suit cover. But it must be very loose and have pockets.

3. What summer food fills your mouth with delight and whose flavor stays happily with you long after eaten?

Summer vegetables roasted on the grill! Corn, zucchini, sweet potato, asparagus. Grill 'em up, crispy on the asparagus and zucchini, and those natural sugars come out and make your tongue zing with happiness! And then grilled fruit for dessert with vanilla ice cream and a crumble topping.

4. Tell us about the summer vacation or holiday that holds your dearest memory.

It would have to be going to Hawaii at 16 for the first time since I was a baby. We spent a very magical three weeks with my parents' old friends, who else, the Cooks! I had an amazing adventure going "fluming". Where you trespass onto a sugar cane plantation and hike up to the top of the irrigation flume, dive underneath the vent, blow up your raft in a dark tunnel and float down the flume. This adventure involved a frolic in a field of shampoo ginger, looking a cow in the eye, being knocked unconscious and later having a shotgun aimed at us as we ran off the farmer's property! Good clean fun I say!

5. Have you had any experience(s) this summer that has drawn you closer to God or perhaps shown you His wonder in a new way?

The gift of San Clemente from dear friends. Twice! this summer.

The reunion I had with other dear friends from long ago in Covenant Players.

Wonderboy making a new friend from his new school, who also happens to have cool parents.

All of these fill me with hope and strengthen my faith in God's redeeming power. There are times it's hard to remember that he'd like to share that with us more often. In our current felon filled situation, we need an extra dose. Opening the receiving department here!!!

Bonus question: When it is really hot, humid and uncomfortable, what do you do to refresh and renew body and spirit?

Three words, water water water. If a Hawaiian beach is not readily available, jumping into a pool is best. Not too cold. Just right. Clean water. I especially enjoy the pools filtered with a diatomaceous filter (she said sniffing, even though she's never HAD a pool). The water is fresher. Skinny dipping is even better, but sometimes your hosts will not appreciate you shucking your suit and diving in. Especially during a semi formal cocktail party.

(all pictures, except Wonderboy at the beach and Davey at the Reunion, from Google Images)

FLOATIN' ABOUT IN THE "IN BETWEEN"

2008-08-04T09:48:00.000-07:00

Now for many reasons Wonderboy and I do not have a church home for worship on Sunday.

Instead we pickup my mom and go out to breakfast and enjoy each other's company. As well as Wonderboy enjoying his pancake pileup.

We missed communion yesterday. That made me sad.

Right now I am too tired to go church hunting. Wonderboy wants to stay with his former choir with Janet and Judy. We'll do that. And for next year that will likely be all the church we get.

I for one, not only feel but also believe that our presence at the former church was not only unwelcome, but personally rejected. For many reasons. Perhaps this was not the intention of anyone there. But it was the action(s) or actually non-action, and it was the result. I suspect there are others there who have left who experienced the same. Be that as it may, it still feels personal. And it grew to feel personal to Wonderboy. When he said, "I am so bored of listening to (the head pastor) begging for money and trying to make it about God", that sealed it.

I tried to volunteer. Was rejected and blown off, quite rudely. I asked for help and was rejected and blown off, again rudely. Those are just two examples. I can deal with these things, but for my son to see that this is acceptable treatment of his mother in a purported house of God is, frankly, absolutely unacceptable. And vile.

My church is now with you all. I have had better fellowship, Bible Study and support here than any from this church. As well as opportunities to serve.

I'll do my best to give him some kind of Bible study at home. But for now, we are "tweeners". The last church I tried never called after I filled out the "friendship cards". Three times.

There is too much on my plate now to go looking. My cup runneth amok, as it were.

If it is meant for us to be at another church I believe God will point the way and clear the currently bramble filled path.

MINDY'S QUILT IS IN THE BUILDING!!

2008-08-01T15:35:00.000-07:00

Modeled by the ever helpful Wonderboy, here's the front

and Here's the back

Every quilt has a story to tell. Though small, this one still has a story. There are squares contributed by blog friends. There were fabric and photos contributed, out of which I made squares. And I found Pantypalooza! Wouldn't be right without that.

I purchased far too much fabric, of course. But it was so pretty. So I sent the leftover to Princess Mindy so that she could make coordinating accessories like pillows or a covered bulletin board, or an apron, or some cotton g-string panties, if she wishes.

I made the "Princess Mindy's Home Sweet Home" square before she posted about finding Albert on the porch. Well, of course, this then meant that a change in backing fabric was in order.

This was one of those projects that was so much fun, I did not want to finish it. It looked too bare when it was all sewn together. Wonderboy and I made several trips to JoAnn's fabrics and Michaels Crafts. We found the buttons and charms. Wonderboy picked out the silver wrapped pink beads and helped to place them at the bottom. The two charms on the bottom right and left are hearts with rhinestone crowns in the middle. They and the top fleur-dis-lis are tied on with silk ribbon. I chose a golden edging because, it's for Princess Mindy and requires a posh finish.

Mindy tells me this will go up in her new craft room. The perfect place!

Many thanks to all who contributed a square(s)/photos/fabric. You can see who you are, right there!

And to Mindy, this is a gift to help fill your new house with light and love and all good wishes.

FRIDAY FIVE: LOCK ME OUT, LOCK ME IN

2008-08-01T06:34:00.000-07:00

"Yo! Is dis the right place for the New Village People audition?",
or "I come from a hat downunder",
or, "you will be assimilated....resistance is futile"

Songbird muses -

For some reason, Blogger declared this blog possible SPAM and locked us down yesterday. This morning, we're free to post again, but there was a fair amount of excitement last night among our contributors, who found a dire notice on their Blogger dashboards threatening that this blog might be deleted in 20 days!

We requested a blog review, and I posted a request at the Blogger Help group, where I found we were not alone. Many other perfectly nourishing and cromulent blogs got the same notice last night.

This turned out to be a very small barricade in our blogging community life, but it seemed appropriate to explore locks and blocks and other barriers this week. Also, I liked the picture of the security team above! Could they be Blogger's Spam Prevention Robots, working overtime?

In honor of their efforts, I bring you the "Lock Me Out, Lock Me In" Friday Five.

1) How do you amuse yourself when road construction blocks your travel?

I imagine myself on a dance show and perform amazing feats of footery.

2) Have you ever locked yourself out of your house? (And do you keep an extra key somewhere, just in case?)

Never out of my house. However I have locked my keys in my car. Once while it was running.

3) Have you ever cleared a hurdle? (And if you haven't flown over a material hurdle, feel free to take this one metaphorically.)

Not a track and field gal. Metaphorical hurdles would include puberty, bad boyfriends, income ceilings, and acne. Although those really are more material than metaphorical. Except some of the boyfriends who I now swear must have been made up.

4) What's your approach to a mental block?

I stack it on top of all my other mental blocks.

5) Suggest a caption for the picture above; there will be a prize for the funniest answer!

See above

....now if I post this and post a link on the RevGals site, will the blog bot police come and lock me down? Hmmmmm. I'm a scofflaw! I'll risk it.

BLOGGER MEET UP

2008-07-31T07:40:00.000-07:00

Yesterday I got to meet Fran!!!

We were going to meet at Gloria Jean's at the Glendale Galleria for coffee. But Gloria Jean's was gone! So we got a cuppa at Cinnabon and talked non stop for over an hour.

I was going to take a picture. I had my camera with me. But I was having so much fun talking and sharing with Fran that I forgot! Mea culpa! Maybe this picture will work as a "fill in" ---

She is WONDERFUL! Just like you would imagine from reading her blog. Smart, energetic, pretty, funny.

It's a very cool thing with every blogger (all three) I've met so far. It feels like meeting up with an old friend and just picking up the threads of a warm and familiar conversation.

Anyway, if you ever get the chance to meet Fran, you will enjoy every minute!

ORPHANS WORK ACT

2008-07-30T15:16:00.001-07:00

Do you take pictures?
Do you draw pictures and post them on the internet?
Do you write and post it on the internet?
Do you blog?
Do you have any kind of media work that you have created that is accessible to the public?

If you answered yes to any of the above questions, you have to read about The Orphans Work Act

If this passes, then anything you and I have written/photographed/created that is available anywhere online or in any media anywhere, even if it is licensed and/or copyright registered, it will be available to anyone to use in any manner they wish and profit from that use without paying you or me a penny. Unless, (of course there is an "unless" and it will cost) we register each and every work with a newly created database (companies yet to be formed) and pay for each item's registration. On top of licensing and copyright.

This has such serious implications, I cannot begin to list them out. I will predict that many blogs will suddenly be deleted, as well as Facebook, MySpace, Flikr and other such accounts.

It's time to contact your congressperson again. This bill needs to go down. Tell ALL your friends and family. Spread this news like hot frosting on a red velvet cake!

This is very very bad juju.

Here is another informative link from AIGA to read.

ALL IS FORGIVEN

2008-07-27T00:00:00.000-07:00

He laughed with his comrades in arms at mess. But the laughter never reached his eyes. His comrades did not notice. Because the laughter did not reach their eyes as well. They had shared their tales of the day’s bombings as they always did. But for the first time since they had flown together much of each tale was either made up or truth glossed over.

He dreaded having to sleep. He avoided it as long as he could. Finally there could be no more excuses and he had to go lie in his bunk.

Tonight all the beds, normally filled with the snores of the pilots, were dead quiet. Not one soldier in that room slept that night. Nor did they sleep at all well for many other nights.

When he’d first heard the nasty rumors he had dismissed them. Why on earth would this man’s army want a group of first rate P-51 flyers to fly P-47’s? It just made no sense. But the rumors were true. And he was a good pilot. And a loyal soldier.

He lay in his bunk that night and tried to close his eyes. But every time he did the faces would come back to him. The faces of those he had killed that day. The first time in his two years in this war that what he did looked back at him with eyes full of fear and horror. As if he were the monster.

Nothing in his 21 years on this earth had prepared him for this kind of soul destroying experience. He was a builder! He was a man who loved the earth. He was moral and good. Raised by Godly and decent parents. He was taught that to kill was a sin.
And today he had killed.

Of course he had killed on other days, but in his P-51 so high in the sky there were no faces. His targets were munitions dumps. Train stations. Bridges. Nothing with faces or eyes that shouted accusations of “Killer!” to him. And he knew enough German from his mother to understand the curses yelled up to him.
He was not the monster here!

He tried to close his eyes again. Then had to smother his face into his pillow to try to erase what had burned into his brain.
Each day that followed, each new mission completed, carved out a little more of each soldier’s soul. Dark circles and sunken cheeks occupied the place where the warm comfort of camaraderie used to light up the mess hall each night. For the first time since they’d been stationed in Paris, trays were returned with uneaten food. The cook, a normally sensitive cuisinier, did not complain. He knew.

Each night during that dark time he would return to his bunk. Some nights he would bury his face so hard into his pillow, hoping to be able to cry. Or scream. Nothing would come. Just the faces. Men. Women. And even children. Their homes. And he was the destroyer.

After a time the emptiness settled into a very large knot that lived in the pit of his stomach for the rest of his life. It was a knot that had strangling tendrils that would reach up to his mind and repeat the same message. Over and over. That he did not deserve to have any kind of a life after this. That he was no longer entitled to the life he carried in his sack of bones. That nothing he could ever do would make up for what he had done to those faces.

When the war was over and he was sent back home, he did what all his buddies were doing. He pushed the knot way way down. And pretended it wasn’t there. Though his nights were filled with nightmares that lifted him, screaming, out of his bed.

I do not know if what I wrote above is what actually happened. This is what I can only imagine happened to soldiers in WWII. And in all wars past. And after. Innocent young boys (and now women) were trained to use instruments of death and destruction, without any thought or attention given to what this would do to their souls and their psyches. During or after. They were sworn in to do a necessary and ugly job. And they did it with stoic courage and honor.

I am safe today in a privileged life because of what my father did in WWII. I did not fully appreciate the gift of his sacrifice until later in his life. I am so grateful that I finally did in time to call him on Veteran’s Day to thank him.

But the tragedy is that even then, he still felt unworthy and not entitled. And almost nobody ever knew this.

And it did not fully occur to me until the last couple months when visions of the above and what he must have experienced during that time took up a dance in my head. I pray he’s somewhere he can read this and know that I know now. And that I understand.

Like I said to you that last day, Dad, all is forgiven. ALL is forgiven.

FRIDAY FIVE - WHAT YOU ABSOLUTELY, POSITIVELY, CAN'T LEAVE HOME WITHOUT

2008-07-24T23:01:00.000-07:00

Singing Owl says ~

"We will be at a chaplain's convention when you all are answering the Friday Five Questions. I'll look forward to reading your answers next week when I get home. At the moment we are trying to get the car loaded so we can hit the road, so this will be a simple F.F. This running around madly in order to leave has me wondering: what are the five things you simply must have when you are away from home? And why? Any history or goofy things, or stories?"

Oh goodness me, you can't just leave it at five. I am a notorious over-packer. Truly. When I toured with Covenant Players my suitcase was much like the ones you see at the circus. Where the clown just keeps pulling impossible things out of a suitcase, like a bicycle and a ladder and a line of chorus girls. That is me. Even for just a weekend.

1. The toiletries bag - includes evening face scrub, morning soapless face wash, sunscreen, ointments in case Wonderboy's eczema pops up, implements of tweezing, clippers, bandaids, St. Bernard with cask of brandy. (OK not really the St. Bernard)

2. The suitcase - includes the necessaries, plus an extra set for "just in case", clothes for each day, with some extra pieces in case of weather changes. I have cut myself down to just three pairs of shoes. Sweatshirt. Something nice in case we go out to dinner. The shoulder strap purse. G-string and tassles in case I run out of cash. (Naw, that'd never happen. I always have enough cash)

3. The car purse - this is usually a fanny pack with a smaller wallet, aspirin, another pair of clippers for that pesky hangnail that always pops out 30 minutes into a drive, cell phone, bluetooth in case I drive, pencil for car necessaries as below, lipstick, zit cover up, George Clooney's telephone number. (Fine, that last one's made up too. *sigh*)

4. Inside the car - A book. Two if the one I'm reading is almost finished. Magazines not yet read for when I am bored with the book. The latest puzzle page with the Sudoku and the crossword. Drinking water in my Kleen Kanteen, snacks if it's a long road trip, towel to cover the plastic seat if it's a hot day and binoculars so I can look into other people's cars. (hee hee. Just kidding. I don't need binoculars to do that!)

5. Inside the trunk, with the suitcase, the shoe bag, the toiletries bag, the toys suitcase, the beach bag, and the scooter would be a first aid kit, emergency water supply and bag full of unmarked bills in case we have to bribe our way out of a local jail. (Kidding again! I have my G-string and tassles, remember? No jail time for us)

And that should do it. Though we do have to book an extra day at any hotels because of the time it takes to unload the car, unpack and then at the end, repack and reload. But Wonderboy doesn't mind. I only make him carry one suitcase at a time. ;)

FOR WANT OF AN ENORMOUS AND MULTIMILLON DOLLAR NEW BUILDING.......

2008-07-21T11:50:00.000-07:00

I have written about my church's massive multimillion dollar capital campaign almost a year ago.

Well, even though they're a couple 'a million shy the original goal, demolition begins this week I believe, on the second phase of the project *drumroll please* the Children's Pavilion. Never mind that two of the pastors are now doing three jobs with less assistance. Never mind that the original building's goals have not yet produced the regular "programs" that were planned, because the plan was to staff the church mostly with volunteers who have not materialized. Although all the hype you would read or hear decries the opposite of what you would see and experience.

The macro tragedy is the enormous amount of expenditure into buildings so grandiose that many are now askance at said grandiosity. Not to mention the debt the church will be burdened with for many many years. (Financing is with independent banks, not Presbytery). And when, as I fear, a sizable amount of the pledges those loans are based upon, prove to be uncollectable, it's not gonna be pretty.

The micro tragedy (or actually tragedies) that draws my sight to the macro tragedy are personal experiences such as -

~I learned that a mission fund had an additional $6,000 to give away and was looking for needs. I called them. Twice. And e-mailed. With a most appropriate avenue. No one ever called me back or replied to my e-mail. Not even to say "Sorry, already spoken for".

~One of the pastors was to call me, during a difficult time, which I was really needing. Took my number. And never called. When I saw him some weeks later, not even a mention of the oversight.

~The deacons received new assignments this year. I received a postcard telling me that "K" was to be my new deacon. When I saw her on Deacon Sunday she said, "No I'm not. You're not on my list". I don't believe I was on any list. At any rate, three months later now, "K" kindly "adopted" me, after the pastor in charge of the deacons was not able to figure out what had happened. I've talked to several members recently who have said, "What? We still have deacons? What do they do?"

~And this, which really makes me sad in terms of the new 8 million dollar Children's Pavilion. I volunteered to teach Sunday School this summer. Such a big push for volunteers needed because summer is so difficult. I have never taught at this church, so I expected some kind of phone call, or flyer or something to prepare me. At least tell me where to meet. The Thursday before the first Sunday I was to teach, I finally got an answer to my e-mail saying that because of the early demolition on the Sunday School buildings there had been no time to prepare a lesson and that a video would be shown. The second week, it took my third e-mail sent late Saturday night to find out that VBS had taken more attention than thought and again, a lesson had not been prepared and a video would be shown.

~Wonderboy and I ran into a young woman who had grown up in the church. I asked her what she thought of the highly touted youth programs. She sighed and said that she had tried to get into the youth groups there, but as she neither lived in the area nor attended the same school most of the kids did that they ignored her. That it was a very cliquey group. And this surprised me because for years I've heard what a great program this church does with its youth. Though it misses the mark on most everything else. Certainly the children's choir has not been that way for us.

The upshot is that Wonderboy will participate in his beloved Children's Choir with Janet and Judy one more year. Especially since his school will be new. Then I believe it will be time to move on.

And I will never again volunteer for anything at this church. It makes me ill to imagine what good would have come if the building and upgrades (many of which were sorely needed, to be fair) had been done in keeping with the original architecture and done more modestly, with all that lovely money.

Now they will have a very fancy Children's Pavilion to show the kids videos on Sunday because there was no time to prepare a lesson.

EARLY DAYS IN HIS TERM

2008-07-16T22:24:00.000-07:00

PCUSA's new moderator Rev. Bruce Reyes-Chow got to meet blogger pal Brittany of Tales of the Journey at a conference this week.

She had a very positive experience and some interesting comments on his leadership of a town hall meeting. Read about it on her blogpost here

Brittany also shared an interesting reflection on poverty.

Good things goin' on amidst all the strife.